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We Are All Going To Feel Pretty Stupid When Barack Obama Really Does Nuke Charleston, South Carolina

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Wow, did you hear about how Barack Hussein Obama completely lost his mind and fired a bunch of generals a couple weeks ago, after they refused to drop nukes on Charleston, South Carolina? IT'S COMPLETELY TRUE, we read it onRon Paul's Website. OK, not Ron Paul's actual website, but a website run by Ron Paul fans, which is almost exactly the same thing. So here's exactly what happened:


A shocking new Main Intelligence Directorate (GRU) report circulating in the Kremlin today states that President Barack Obama, while in a rage, ousted four of the United States top ranking military officers after they refused to detonate a nuclear device “in/near” Charleston, South Carolina this past week and, instead, exploded it off the Atlantic Coast.

That obviously explains the October 8 earthquake off the east coast, because everybody knows there are no earthquakes on that side of the country. Also, there are a lot of loons allowed loose on the internet.

Sadly, it turns out to maybe not actually be altogether true. As in it's all made up, except for the fact that a couple of generals really got fired within a few days of each other. But not for failing to nuke Charleston for Obama's jollies. Yes, we know. You are astonished. See Snopes for details, we guess, but you know they're actually run by THE JEWS...

This is at least the second time that a completely imaginary nuclear attack by Barack Obama has been foiled, and that the wingnut email network has carried the news far and wide. It's got something to do with his plans to take all the guns and turn over the United States to the UN/Radical Islam/the Shriners or something. He is just the least competent nuclear saboteur to ever hold the position of Commander in Chief, isn't he?

[DailyPaul / Snopes]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Gonna be a long day, y'all, you ready to dive in? We should note at the outset that any of the questions about obstruction of justice are colored by the fact that Trump refused to sit for an interview with Robert Mueller. Guess that's part of why Robert Mueller refused to clear him! But anyway, we will have more time for thoughts as we read.

Let's read the Mueller Report!

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April 20 will be the 20th anniversary of the massacre at Columbine High School. Mother Jones yesterday published a report on mass shooters (or would-be shooters) who in one way or another mentioned the Columbine murders as something they wanted to emulate, or as a benchmark they hoped to outdo. Since 1999, there have been more than 100 plots or actual attacks influenced by Columbine. MoJo national affairs editor Mark Follman notes,

And those are just the cases for which there is some kind of public record: In talking with law enforcement and mental health sources who work to prevent such attacks, I've learned of dozens more Columbine-influenced threats that never made the news.
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