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Who wants to start out their week with a little bugfuck batshit OMG WTF crazy? You do? Great, because that's what we're doing.

Now that the Mueller report Bill Barr letter has been released, Trump people are all sowing their wild oats in different ways, because they want us to believe that the actual Mueller report -- which nobody has read -- completely totally exonerates Donald Trump and his campaign of all Russian crimes past, present and future. It is not clear that is the case, but to know for sure, we'd have to read the fucking Mueller report, now wouldn't we?

George Papadopoulos, who went to jail for a handful of days for lying to the FBI, and who leaked Russian dirt about the Russians having Russian dirt on Hillary Clinton all over an Australian diplomat in London during the campaign -- the event that started the Russia investigation in the first place -- would like a pardon. Also, he has a book to sell. No, we will not be linking to it. Shockingly, it has "Deep State" in the title, because these people are nothing if not consistent (-ly paranoid).

Which brings us to the interview Pap did Sunday on Kasie Hunt's MSNBC show! What you need to know about the interview is that Kasie Hunt's face is the exact same face you will have if you watch the interview and try to make sense of the Bowling Green Massacre narrative that lives in Pap's head about what's REALLY happened these past couple of years.


There is no sense trying to transcribe any of this, but here are the top line things George Papadopoulos told Kasie Hunt, which made her make that face:

  • The Maltese professor Joseph Mifsud, who made the initial approach to Pap claiming ties to Russia and dirts on Hillary Clinton, was actually an operative of DEEP STATE, and that has just been proven, and Pap is pretty sure an FBI operative tricked him into meeting that guy in spy school in order to frame him for WITCH HUNT.
  • So why didn't he go to the FBI? Uh, well, HE DID, KASIE. (You know, when they interviewed him about how he was drunk-bragging all over Australian diplomats that the Russians were going to fuck Hillary Clinton the fuck up. Also, he lied to the FBI.)
  • But he's glad he didn't go to the FBI, because THEY WERE THE ONES DOING THE DEEP STATE WITCH HUNT, KASIE.
  • Robert Mueller wasn't even trying to witch hunt Pap for Russia stuff, they were trying to witch hunt him for ISRAEL STUFF.
  • Also he didn't even drunk all that stuff all over the Australian diplomat Alexander Downer in a bar in London, that was a false flag fake news story, just ask Congressman Mark Meadows, all these diplomats were spying on the Trump campaign, it was definitely a thing that happened, according to Mark Meadows, a very serious person.

When the interview was over, Kasie Hunt was like "OK, you betcha!" Except she didn't say those words, because she is a professional. And again, this was her face pretty much the entire interview.

And that was the end of that!

We wish we didn't have to type out nutbag shit like this, but now that the Mueller investigation is over -- and for however long Trump and his minions can manage to keep the actual report under wraps -- the Right is desperately looking for conspiracy narratives to replace what actually happened. And as much as we'd like to think Sean Hannity would refrain from mainlining Pap's garbage up his B-hole and then upchucking it into the president's mouth during TV time, that's not the America we live in right now, so this shit will probably end up on Trump's Twitter feed sometime very soon. As evidence of that, we can report that one of the idiots at The Federalist -- no, not the one who lost her everloving shit this weekend on Twitter and started gay-bashing journalist Yashar Ali, which led to her getting fired from The Federalist for being too much of an unhinged asshole, a different one -- is already taking Pap's shit seriously and doing deep dives into the alleged secret FBI operative who tricked Pap into meeting the Maltese lawyer, because of how it was all a COLLUSION WITCH HOAX.

In other words, things will get stupider before they get smarter. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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