We Heard Rob Ford Was Getting Arrested For Murder, But Apparently He Is Just A Jailhouse Shotcaller

Is anyone really surprised it would come to this? Surely the very special After School Special cautionary tale that is the life of Rob Ford had only a couple possible endings, all of which involved jail or death or both. After approximately one million shoes dropping, from the crack smoking to the declaration that he has more than enough pussy at home, thanks, couldn't eat another bite, to threatening to rip someone's throat up or off or both, to the maybe sorta kinda was connected to a murder thing, we figured that an arrest or a lawsuit was inevitable.

Today, we got our wish, with Ford finally being sued for ordering a beatdown of a jail inmate.

Several prisoners shattered the teeth and broke the leg of Rob Ford’s estranged brother-in-law in a jailhouse beating that was intended to keep him quiet about the Toronto mayor’s abuse of alcohol and illegal drugs, it has been alleged in a lawsuit.

The 2012 jailhouse assault of Scott MacIntyre was orchestrated by Aedan Petros, Mr. MacIntyre has alleged in a statement of claim. Mr. Petros is a 300-pound, violent criminal who played defensive tackle for Mr. Ford when he was the coach of the football team at Don Bosco Catholic Secondary School.

That does not sound like a good thing for a mayor to be involved with, even a crack-addled Chris Farley mayor! What happened that MacIntyre got beated down?

First, it looks like MacIntyre dated Ford's sister for a long time and had threatened her. Now, let's take a moment to point out that Mr. MacIntyre is not a good person either, and is probably the kind of person you would have beaten if they dated a family member and you were the beating-ex-boyfriends sort but oh holy crap we cannot even begin to sort out the vicious criminality that surrounds the Ford family, for serious.

MacIntyre, a convicted drug dealer who has racked up a slew of offenses dating back 28 years, was the off-and-on boyfriend of the mayor’s sister, who described herself in a TV interview on Thursday as a “former drug addict.”

Eight years ago, MacIntyre was accused of shooting Kathy [Ford, Rob Ford's sister] in the face during an altercation in the basement of her parents’ home and then fleeing in her mother’s Jaguar.

Numerous charges against MacIntyre were subsequently dropped, though a co-accused pleaded guilty to one count of possession of a handgun.

On the January morning nearly two years ago, MacIntyre entered Ford’s Etobicoke home uninvited — the front door was open — and began yelling at the mayor: “You owe me money and your sister owes me money,” he shouted, according to court documents obtained last week by the Star. “If I don’t get it they will kill me.”

Ford repeatedly ordered MacIntyre to leave as the argument grew more heated and “almost came to physical violence,” the transcript states.

Everyone in this story seems like a fine upstanding human being with no chemical dependency issues whatsoever. So did Ford order MacIntyre beaten because he had hurt Ford's sister, or because MacIntyre had the inside line on Ford's drug and alcohol abuse? Wouldn't Ford have to order the entirety of Canada beat down if the latter were the case? MacIntyre gave an hour-long interview to the Globe and Mail in conjunction with the filing of the lawsuit, so we'll find out soon. 

Surprisingly, this seems to be the first lawsuit related to all the Rob Ford shenanigans over the last year, and Ford is so chill about it that as we write this, he's still on the floor of the City Council meeting, whining about tax rates. Cold, man. Ice cold.

[ Globe and Mail / Toronto Star ]