We Need To Talk Some More About President BabbleSh*t's Humiliating G7 Performance

A bunch of stories have come out in the past 24-48 hours about things President Stable Genius did at the G7 that ... look, we've been saying forever that the man is bugfuck crazy and is probably in the throes of some sort of dementia and that if your dad did and said one percent of the shit he does, you'd either take him to a neurologist or drop him off on the front porch of a fire station, depending on your relationship with your dad.

But people more polite than Yr Wonkette are saying it out loud a lot more, and for good reason. Consider that all of these things happened at the G7 in the space of just a couple days. (And yes, Rachel Maddow covered a lot of this in her "A" block last night. She's helpful like that.)

Trump Missed His Climate Meeting, And Then The White House Lied To Cover For Him

This was weird:

It was during this session where the leaders got together to approve an aid package for the Amazon wildfires (you know, in the Amazon rainforest, AKA the "lungs of the Earth"), which Trumpy Brazilian jackoff president Jair Bolsonaro is rejecting as "colonialist" and suggesting that maybe Europe should just plant some new trees if they're so concerned about the world's residents being able to quote-unquote "breathe."

Where Trump was supposed to be during that meeting ended up being an empty chair. But later on, when asked about his absence, he said he was pretty sure he was going to the climate meeting "in a little while." Wait, what? And why did he miss it?

"The President had scheduled meetings and bilaterals with Germany and India, so a senior member of the Administration attended in his stead," press secretary Stephanie Grisham said by way of explanation for Trump's absence.

That is, how do we say this delicately ...


You see, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi and German Chancellor Angela Merkel were at the climate meeting, which means by definition they were not doing bilaterals with Trump at the time.

Wonkette joked yesterday that Trump probably missed the meeting because he doesn't like to talk about climate change unless he can share his hot new ideas for dropping nukes on angry clouds, but maybe the joke is closer to reality than any of us would like to believe. Or maybe it was something else. It's possible that he was having some sort of episode and they're all hiding it.

We have zero reason to believe anything this White House says, but their lying is worse than usual on this one.

Melania And Kim Jong Un Were Roommates In College! They Were In The Original Touring Cast Of Cats! They Won Gold In Bobsled At Nagano! Oh Wait, They've Never Met?

During the press conference at the end of the G7, Trump told reporters this:

"I also say that, by the way, with respect to North Korea," Trump told reporters. "Kim Jong Un, who I've gotten to know extremely well, the first lady has gotten to know Kim Jong Un and I think she would agree with me, he is a man with a country that has tremendous potential."

And the crowd said ... no actually that's not it? Melania Trump and Kim Jong Un have not actually met? At least not that we are aware of? And at least not that Melania Trump seems to be aware of?

As Trump mentioned his wife, a camera cut to Melania in the audience, who cocked her head slightly and looked somewhat quizzically at the president.

Many have noted that Ivanka Trump has met Kim Jong Un, and maybe the president is just confusing his wife and his daughter, like sentient people do. After all, if Ivanka wasn't his daughter, he might be dating her right now! So maybe they sort of exist on the same wavelength in his mind.


The White House "clean-up" operation on this one is more fucked up than its attempts to explain why the president couldn't make it to the climate meeting:

"President Trump confides in his wife on many issues including the detailed elements of his strong relationship with Chairman Kim — and while the First Lady hasn't met him, the President feels like she's gotten to know him too," Grisham said.

In HIS HEART, Donald Trump "feels like" his wife has gotten warm 'n' comfy with the North Korean dictator who sends him love notes, even though they have not met. He definitely for sure believes this, in his brain that works so well he can correctly identify which one is "camel" (camel) and which one is "nipple" (Nepal).

You betcha.

China's On Line One! Oh, Wait, It's Not? Trump Just Thinks He's Talking To China? Is There Even Anybody On Line One? LOL Is That Even A Real Phone?

Hey look, another thing that was weird:

The president said that Chinese officials reached out twice to the administration late Sunday in an effort to restart talks. "We've got two calls, very very good calls, very productive calls," Trump told reporters. "They mean business."

Yeah? Good talks? They called Sunday night? Did China ... ask if your refrigerator was running, Mister President?

A Chinese foreign ministry spokesperson said he was unaware of any such calls, and Trump declined to say which Chinese officials had called.


"Sorry it's the way I negotiate," Trump told reporters. "It's done very well for me over the years and it's doing even better for the country."

All righty!

If anyone in the Trump administration has any knowledge of Dan Bongino or Kellyanne Conway or anyone else calling the president and funnin' him and saying they are "China," please contact us, and also the president's physician.

Of Course Trump Is Having Second Thoughts About His Trade War! Those Are The Ones That Come After The First Thoughts!

This happened. A reporter asked Trump if he was having second thoughts and he said yes, "I have second thoughts about everything," and then Larry Kudlow and Steven Mnuchin had to run to the Sunday TV shows to say YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT TO SAY! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE "SECOND THOUGHTS"!

For those unclear on whether Trump maybe just does not know what the expression "having second thoughts" means, the Washington Post notes that back when he was a candidate, he was solidly against the idea of second thoughts, denying reports that he had waffled on picking Mike Pence as the guy who stands behind him and looks at him like Kim Jong Un's BFF Melania looks at Justin Trudeau: "I've never had a second thought in my life," said the president, who was incidentally unable to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'd ever had a first thought either.

So he knows what it means. Or at least the 2016 version of his brain did. Maybe that's changed.

And Then There Were Just The Regular-Ass Twitter Lies.

Trump sent a couple tweets along these lines during the G7:

An obvious lie, and an appallingly lazy lie. Nobody except his most paste-eating followers actually believes that this happened, but we guess we should consider the possibility that his brain is eating itself to such a degree that he actually thinks it happened.

If any Trump White House staffers have information about Stephanie Grisham or Logan Giblets or whatever his name is, calling the president and saying "Bonjour! This is Emmanuel Macron! Why does the American media hate your capital-C country so much?" please contact us to tell us how hilarious it is. Also you should DEFINITELY stop (allegedly!) doing that to the president, unless you don't want to stop, in which case keep fuckin' with the dumbass, we don't give a shit.


We've talked many times about Donald Trump's very weird Russian agent-type inclination toward giving Vladimir Putin every reacharound he possibly can, and this year's G7 was no exception. He ruined suppertime for all the world leaders on Saturday because he could not get off obsessing over his desire to invite Russia back into the group and make the G7 the G8 again. And during his press conference on Monday, he babbled about how Putin only got kicked out because he "outsmarted" Barack Obama, as if somehow this international body kicked a country out because it hurt Barack Obama's feelings.

Let's be clear on a couple things. First of all, nobody who matters wants Putin back in the group. Reportedly, at the dinner meeting, the only person who backed Trump up was outgoing Italian Prime Minister Guiseppe Conte, a guy who LET'S JUST SAY has some Russian issues of his own, related to one of Italian parties that made up his ruling coalition. (NESSUNA COLLUSIONE!)

The Washington Post has more on just how bad that dinner meeting was. Long block quote so you can be as horrified as we are:

The meal started normally, with a discussion of the fires in the Amazon. It moved on to containing Iran's nuclear threat. But it went off the rails when Trump blasted leaders for not including Russia.

Trump's message was that "it doesn't really make sense to have this discussion without Putin at the table," according to a European official briefed on the conversation among the leaders. [...]

The entire 44-year vision of the G-7 gathering, according to the non-U. S. participants, is to hash out global issues among like-minded democracies. So the discussion quickly turned even more fundamental: Whether the leaders should assign any special weight to being a democracy, officials said.

Most of the other participants forcefully believed the answer was yes. Trump believed the answer was no. The pushback against him was delivered so passionately that the U.S. president's body language changed as one leader after another dismissed his demand, according to a senior official who watched the exchange. He crossed his arms. His stance became more combative. [...]

[H]aving such a forceful advocate for an authoritarian leader inside the room of democracies profoundly shaped the overall tone of the summit, one senior official said.

"The consequence is the same as if one of the participants is a dictator," the official said. "No community of like-minded leaders who are pulling together."

Jesus Christ, you cannot take the president of the United States anywhere. He just sits there and bitches and moans and lies and whines and pushes his peas around the plate and advocates for authoritarian dictators.

Secondly, there is no version of the story of Russia getting kicked out of the G8, besides maybe something Vladimir Putin whispered up Trump's ass during one of their meetings where translators weren't allowed to take notes, that says it happened in response to anything other than his illegal invasion and occupation of Crimea, or as Trump referred to it in his press conference, "a certain section of Ukraine that you know very well." In Trump's telling of the story, Crimea was "sort of taken away from President Obama. Not taken away from President Trump, taken away from President Obama. President Obama was not happy that this happened, because it was embarrassing to him. Right? It was very embarrassing to him."

What. The. Fuck.

Trump isn't pushing Kremlin propaganda. He's BABBLING Kremlin propaganda.

We don't know what is going through Trump's mind when he says shit like this, or if things can even be said to be "going through his mind" the way they do for a normal person. All we know is that Putin invaded and occupied a sovereign nation, the most powerful democracies in the world punished him for it, and Trump thinks that's NO FAIR. Or as Jonathan Chait put it, "the president trying to reward Russia's attack is blaming the president who punished the attack for the invasion itself."

Trump very well may be a Russian asset, whether he knows it or not. (The FBI's been wondering! And it may still be wondering, according to Robert Mueller!) And part of why the KGB handler/easily-led dipshit relationship may work so well for Putin might be because Trump is so stupid and unhinged and leaking-of-brain that he literally believes anything Putin tells him. Hell, he believes Putin over the US intelligence community when it comes to Putin trying to (probably successfully, with James Comey's help) rig the election for him.

By the way, remember how America is hosting the G7 next year? Trump wants to invite Putin, because of course he does. He says he doesn't know whether Putin can come "psychologically," whatever the fuck that means, but he sure hopes so.

So that's great. Just great.

How much more of this can America and our allies can handle? We are honestly asking.

Watch your Rachel:

Trump An Incoherent Spectacle At G7; W.H. Struggles To Clean Up | Rachel Maddow | MSNBC www.youtube.com

[CNN / USA Today / Politico / Washington Post / ibid.]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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