We Think We Found One Of Those Election Fraud Crimes Trump And Bill Barr Keep Yapping About
It always happens like this. We're finishing up writing a story about a thing — in this case, Georgia GOP Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger kicking GOP Rep. and failed "Hee Haw" extra Doug Collins in the ass for lying about election fraud issues in Georgia — and then another thing breaks like five seconds after that post is published, and BING BONG, Lindsey Graham is an actual criminal.
Allegedly, according to Raffensperger, who is spilling some serious tea on his GOP confreres. We think he mad. You would be too if you were a garbage Republican and your garbage Republican friends were throwing you under the bus for not helping them steal elections hard enough. Or we imagine you would.
Anyway, we found the election fraud, it was in Lindsey Graham's mouth this whole time. Amy Gardner reports in the Washington Post:
Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger said Monday that he has come under increasing pressure in recent days from fellow Republicans, including Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (S.C.), who he said questioned the validity of legally cast absentee ballots, in an effort to reverse President Trump's narrow loss in the state.
Raffensperger [...] said he spoke on Friday to Graham, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, who has echoed Trump's unfounded claims about voting irregularities.
In their conversation, Graham questioned Raffensperger about the state's signature-matching law and whether political bias could have prompted poll workers to accept ballots with nonmatching signatures, according to Raffensperger. Graham also asked whether Raffensperger had the power to toss all mail ballots in counties found to have higher rates of nonmatching signatures, Raffensperger said.
All mail-in ballots in counties ... that had higher rates ... of nonmatching signatures.
What's that expression about throwing out the baby (thousands of legal votes) with the bathwater (a tiny handful of votes that might possibly maybe have problems)? Oh yes, the expression is GO TO JAIL.
Raffensperger said he was stunned that Graham appeared to suggest that he find a way to toss legally cast ballots.
Well yes, it is pretty stunning, when people ask you to commit election-stealing crimes.
Absent court intervention, Raffensperger doesn't have the power to do what Graham suggested because counties administer elections in Georgia.
"It sure looked like he was wanting to go down that road," Raffensperger said.
In an interview on Capitol Hill on Monday evening, Graham denied that he had suggested that Raffensperger toss legal ballots, calling that characterization "ridiculous."
But he said he did seek out the secretary of state to understand the state's signature-matching requirements. Graham said he contacted Raffensperger on his own and was not asked to do so by Trump.
Get fucked, Linds.
So let's see here. If Brad Raffensperger is telling the truth, and we have no reason to believe he isn't, and moreover we have no reason to view Lindsey Graham with a shred of credibility, then Lindsey Graham is literally advocating that we throw votes in the trash can, or in a river, legal votes, to help steal the state of Georgia back from Joe Biden. That Lindsey Graham is a United States senator is relevant here, because of how senators have zero to do with adjudicating elections. That Lindsey Graham is a United States senator from South Carolina Not Georgia seems also possibly relevant, considering how where the fuck does he even get off?
Also Dan Patrick, the lieutenant governor of Texas, has been offering $1 million US ameros as a reward to anyone who finds voter fraud. Does he make the check out to Raffensperger, or Amy Gardner of the Washington Post, who conducted the interview, or do they have to split it? Do we get a cut for shining a light on it and dickishly asking the question?
Meanwhile, Attorney General Bill Barr said in a widely mocked memo that he's giving US attorneys all kinds of new authority to investigate election fraud, so will he be instructing the US attorney in the jurisdiction where Lindsey Graham lives — which district covers "Inside Donald Trump's Ass," anyway? — to open an investigation immediately?
And should we also wonder what kind of conversations Lindsey Graham might have had with elections officials in his own state before the election?
Oh, and what did Donald Trump know about this? Graham says Trump didn't direct it, but we don't believe a damn word he says, so ...
Oh, and should Lindsey Graham resign his chairmanship of the Senate Judiciary Committee and also the Senate and never open his whinyass shitmouth ever again?
Oh well, he probably thinks it's OK he did this because (SOB!) Democrats were (SOB!) so (SOB!) mean (SOB!) to Brett (SOB!) Kavanaugh.
Fuckin' son of a bitch.
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