Missoula, Montana, is a college town full of liberals where you won't even get burned for a witch for having an "I Love Obamacare" sticker on your Prius, and it is where I live with my husband and my heiress, and it is where Bernie Sanders came to yell at us yesterday and it was great!

(Of course it was great! You don't have to vote for Bernie to know he is right about pretty much all the things; the only quibble we have with him on The Issues is JESUS CHRIST WERE YOU SLEEPING WHEN BARRY O BAMZ WAS BARELY ABLE TO SQUEEZE OUT OBAMACARE WITH A SUPERMAJORITY AND SPEAKER PELOSI, STOP WITH THE SINGLE PAYER AND MOVE THE FUCK ON TO GLOBAL WARMING, BECAUSE SHIT IS GETTING REAL.)

About 2000 were expected for the noon rally, so it was adorable that people were still moseying over at 11:30 and thought they'd get in. However! There was plenty of room for the several thousand extra folks to stand in the parking lot by the riverside Caras Park, where you could hear Sanders quite well and smile and cheer and whoop and say "TWENTY SEVEN DOLLARS" real cool like. Also, you could buy our last remaining cease-and-desisted Bernie for the Future T-shirts. (We sold our T-shirts out of a wagon like we were trying to hustle up money to get to the next Phish show, and now we can almost pay Robyn this month!) We saw several people wearing them in the wild! And 10 times as many people wearing the same T-shirt, but ripped off by Dastardly People On The Internet, on whom we would very much like to sic Universal's lawyers.

Let's look at some pretty pictures!

Hey, we know him!


All of the people were nice, except for the woman who kept glaring at my husband for ... reason? Maybe she wanted to do sex to him like the guy who tries to rape Bad Santa.

This is a cool shirt!

This was a very tired girl six hours later.

You know who did NOT make these Bernie for the Future shirts? US. You know who did make these Bernie for the Future shirts? INTERNET STEALERS. But these kids were nice.

Hey, it is my stepson Keifer in his AUTHENTIC (-ally illegal) Wonkette Bernie shirt!

Wait a minute, that is not Donna Rose at the Bernie rally, that is Donna Rose in her baby soup getting ready to go to the hot springs! But she likes Bernie Sanders very much because he looks like a nice grandpa, and she watched almost all his election night speech one time until he got to the part about campaign finance reform, because JESUS, she's HEARD IT ALREADY OKAY?

The end.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

Donate with CC
'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc