Weird Story Surfaces In Ongoing Search For Rick Perry Sex Scandal

The Rick Perry Investigative News Team over at POLITICO was still feeling nostalgic for Ronald Reagan's America following the other night's GOP Supersexxxual Debate about "taxes," a thingthat is fun to debate especially when no one on the stage understands what that word means. So someone started digging around news archives from 1986, which is the year Pixar opened its cartoon shop, "going postal" became a thing, and then-state Rep. Rick Perry "accidentally" sent sex videos to a bunch of teenagers, to teach them about the dangers of drug use.

Innocent Rick Perry was just trying to do his part to educate young minds about the dangers of recreational drugs, by sending an informational video to the schools in his district. Little did he know, they were in for a sinful surprise!

A state technician says a nude scene attached to the end of a videotaped program on drug abuse was not the fault of the lawmaker who provided the tape to a surprised high school audience.

The scene depicting a nude couple in bed was inadvertently attached to a taped drug program sent by state Rep. Rick Perry, D-Haskell, to the 26 schools in his district.

The discovery prompted Perry to recall all the tapes.

Tommy Varner, an assistant coach at Baird High School, said the scene flashed on the screen 30 seconds after the drug awareness program ended.

Varner said he was telling his freshman health class what would be on a test when the eyes of his students became glued on the screen.

"All of them were bug-eyed and looking up there. There were these two people in bed," he said. "I turned the machine off and tried to go on. It wasn't easy with 30 kids chuckling and giggling."

The 45-minute drug tape features noted toxicologist Dr. Harry Edwards discussing his experiences in dealing with drug abusers and rehabilitation, said Dusty Garrison, Perry's legislative aide.

Garrison said Perry saw the tape - without the added attraction - and wanted schools in his district to benefit from the "excellent program."

To add to the strange/creepiness of this scenario, the scene was from "1984," which means that the technician who took "full responsibility" for somehow "accidentally" copying the boring drug movie onto a piece of his personal movie collection was trying to warn everyone of something, and we should have listened. Sorry, 1986 Director of House Technical Services Mike Fickel!

Perry said he was shocked to learn of the scene on the tape he sent to Baird High School. After checking his copy and finding the same scene, Perry said he was convinced all 26 copies had the "embarrassing" scene and he asked that all copies be returned.

"We were doing it for public service, and it backfired on us to a degree," he said. "We were trying to help kids with drug problems, and now it's totally ineffective with this five-second skin shot."

Bravo to Rick Perry for his important knowledge regarding the teenage brain. " will class...end...WHAT?SEX?!WHOHASCOCAINE?!?!?!" [Politico/AP]


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