Donate

Wendy's Now Serving Frostees With Complimentary Side Of Razor Blades

Recipe Hub

Via Flickr


As if Frostees weren't already gross enough (shut up, it's just half-melted soft-serve in a goddamned soda cup, they're disgusting), customers apparently have a new thing to be concerned with: razor blades hidden like depth charges in their iced beverages. YUM!

A woman named Aubrey Simonds in Keene, New Hampshire, got a nasty shock when the 1980s urban legend about caramel apples came to life and she discovered a razor blade in her daughter's soda cup late last week. There's a picture of the blade through that link, and its covered in something unidentifiable, but more horrifying than the idea of a Ted Cruz porn video. Simonds's daughter apparently drank a little of the soda before they realized what was in there and OH GOD we need to go throw up now. Blerf. The kid is OK, by the way.

Lest ye think "THE CUSTOMER PUT IT THERE THEMSELVES, THIS IS A HOAX" -- yeah, we've actually got confirmation it's legit, as the police looked into it and everything, and Wendy's has already thrown itself into full-on "OH GOD WE'RE SO SORRY" mode. Police aren't taking any action against the Wendy's, because it was a one-off problem rather than something ongoing.

As for how it ended up in there, it's basically a slapstick skit: a cleaning company employee used the razor to clean the stove hoods (hence the horrific black-brown gunk mass attached to it in the photo), then threw it in the trash. An employee of the restaurant then found the razor blade in the trash and, concerned someone might cut themselves, took it out and put it in a cup for separate disposal. They never got around to that, though, and ANOTHER employee (who apparently has the perceptive abilities of a concussed duckling) found the cup and filled it with soda without even looking in the damn thing first.

Dear fast food restaurants: please do not serve razor blade sodas -- if people want to experience that level of pain from their soft drinks, they'll drink Fresca.

[Keene Sentinel]

$
Donate with CC

Before we get all het up about Donald Trump's press conference with Vladimir Putin, Tucker Carlson says, we need to look at the larger perspective. Maybe Russia hacked us, maybe they didn't, but what about how Mexicans have interfered in our elections for decades just by being born here, huh?

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
pic of Butina and her handler via Butina's Twitter

Have you been enjoying the last 24 hours of the mainstream media suddenly realizing there's a Russian intelligence asset in the White House, which is something we at Wonkette have known since October of 2016? Hilarious, right? Anyway, DOJ just found another Russian spy in its big "witch hunt." Her name is Maria Butina and she was arrested on Sunday, because the feds were pretty sure she was about to run. Now she is being held in federal custody without bond.

Butina, who is being called a Russian gun rights activist in the news reels, has been indicted for being a total fucking Russian spy who secretly worked to infiltrate the NRA and use it to create secret back channels between the Kremlin and the Republican party. WITCH HUNT!

Keep one idea in your head during this post, please: There is no such thing as a Russian gun rights activist, at least not in the way that we know it. They do not have a "second amendment" in Russia. It is not a gun culture. And Vladimir Putin's political party certainly isn't trying to Samantha Stephens one into existence! So it would follow that if a "Russian gun nut" is up the NRA's ass trying to create back channels, she is actually just a Russian spy who probably isn't even that good at guns.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc