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Hip hooray, the Phelps family of Westboro Baptist Church has offered to lend a hand in the aftermath of the Paris attacks! So of course, they're doing Christ-like things like sending money and medical care and HAHA JUST FOOLIN'. Instead, they've been tweeting up a MIGHTY storm, putting a French twist on all their greatest hits. Do they say we should thank God for the Paris attacks? Ayup. Is this God's WONDERFUL punishment, because the French love the fags so much? Of course it is! Because they're so campy and theatrical, are they making up French songs with God Hates Fags lyrics and putting them on Vine? And are they willing to go to France and help out by picketing?

The fuck you say! But yeah, of course they are. Here, have a Vine:

See what they did there? It's like their normal message, but it's all French-like! That's because not only is WBC God's Chosen Church, they also have mad internutting skillz. On Twitter, they added, "No #peaceforparis until you repent & mourn for fag marriage. Period. #parisattack." Guess that settles that! Here's a picture where they added their message to an already existing meme: And in this one, they somehow were able to use Photoshop to put their message on top of a picture of a memorial to Parisian victims. They're pretty sure they made it WAY BETTER: Got it. Are these people supposed to make us mad anymore? Because at this point, we honestly think they're just sideshow entertainment. Here's some dork family member playing Gershwin's "An American In Paris" on the piano (poorly), and as the camera pans out you can see how they've made some signs to put next to the piano, about how God Hates Fags:

Yup. You want more? FOR SERIOUS? Okay, here's the family singing their own lyrics to "La vie en rose," and surprise, they are about how God hates fags and France deserves it. SPOILER: This is not how that song is really supposed to sound!

Those poor abused kids. They look so bored.

Okay, one more Westboro kneeslapper and we're done with these doofuses. Here's what probably happened when President Obama called President Hollande:

Yep, SOUNDS LIKE PRESIDENT OBAMA! Especially since we now have 150 percent confirmation of how Obama is a gay homosexual who likes men on the penis. Hollande probably responded, "Je suis fag lovers!" And then they sexted each other.

Liberal gay lovers saw these things on the internet and of course said, "Hey, you guys sound kinda like ISIS," and WBC did not like that, no siree. They responded with a long blog post on the subject, which basically reads, "NUH UH, YOU ARE ISIS. Anyway, God hates France, and also fags!"

JoeMyGod points out that, even if WBC tries to go to France to "help," they probably won't get in because of the country's hate speech laws, sadface.

Anyway, fuck these dunderheads, we've already written too many words in this post when there is more important real news out there, like Sarah Palin Is A Idiot.

[Westboro Baptist Blog / WBC on Twitter via JoeMyGod]

 

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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