What Happens If OldBalls McLoser Gets Indicted? Palm Beach Has A Plan For That!

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Politico Playbook WINNED THE MORNING today with a scoop on something you've probably been wondering about, even if unconsciously in the back of your mind. What happens if Donald Trump is indicted, besides how the entire world will have a spontaneous thrill-gasm? What happens if Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance decides it's time to send old fuckhead to the slammer for being such a crime lord? And what if old fuckhead is at Mar-a-Lago at the time?

Will Vance be able to extradite Trump? Does New York even HAVE an extradition treaty with Florida? Can Florida's Trump-humping dumbass Governor Ron DeSantis throw himself in front of the airplane faster than a speeding bullet like a really dumpy Superman, to save his Dear Leader?

Playbook reports that the city of Palm Beach has "actively prepared" for all these scenarios, according to "high-ranking county officials." And there is indeed a Dumpy Superman issue to deal with:


An obscure clause in Florida's statute on interstate extradition gives Gov. RON DESANTIS the ability to intervene and even investigate whether an indicted "person ought to be surrendered" to law enforcement officials from another state.

Joe Abruzzo, Palm Beach County Circuit Court clerk, told Politico that "the state leaves room for interpretation that the governor has the power to order a review and potentially not comply with the extradition notice." Politico notes that Abruzzo is chummy with Joe Biden's younger brother Frank, so if this goes down while Trump's in Florida, expect a bunch of bullshit Fox News headlines about WHERE'S FRANK BIDEN'S LAPTOP or something.

He assures Politico that no matter what, if it ends up on his desk, "the full extent of the law will be followed and carried out appropriately, without bias."

But that's IF Trump's at Mar-a-Lago. You see, Mar-a-Lago shuts down when it gets real hot, and Trump summers at Bedminster in New Jersey. Know what New Jersey's extradition policy is with New York, what with its Democratic Governor Phil Murphy? That's right, it's a very large catapult where they just fling the flailing bodies of the accused over the Upper Bay, right past the Statue of Liberty so they can say "BYE, LIBERTY!"

OK maybe that is not exactly the policy. But it might go differently for Trump if he's already left Mar-a-Lago to go spread his ass all over Bedminster, that's the point. Also, per Politico, "In the event of an indictment, Trump's lawyers could also negotiate a condition of surrender, which could cut local law enforcement out."

Anyway, that's where all the timing of this becomes important. Gonna be a heck of a lot easier for Vance to do the catapult trick (there is no catapult) if it happens before old fuckhead flies south for the winter. Can Vance get that done? We just don't know, but if you missed Wonkette's afternoon update on Vance's investigation, it sounds like he's getting closer.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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