What Sexy Things Will Your Editrix Be Asking Dan Savage, In Our Live Chat?
VERY SEXY THINGS.
Buy American Savage now so you too can be ready to ask Dan Savage questions when he joins us June 28, at 1 p.m. Eastern, to lick all the doorknobs and pixels in our secret chatcave.
Do we even have some sexxxy questions ready for him? Well GET A LOAD OF THIS.
My massage therapist is like 24 and gorgeous -- mix of sexy Middle Easterns -- and I think he is trying to fuck me. I have had many massage therapists, and I have NEVER thought any of them might be trying to fuck me, which is why I think he might be trying to fuck me.
Basically, verrrrry sensual (combined with good deep tissue stuff) and he is like breathing in my ear while he massages me; he is very fast and loose with the sheet; and he does so much inner thigh work he pretty much is within millimeters of having a fistful of muff like half the time he's rubbing me.
Also, I peeked when he was basically reverse teabagging me (he stretches his body all the way across my back, from my head) and he totally had a bone.
So I am okay with it if he is trying to fuck me! But he probably can't be like, wanna bone? Because I could complain to the spa and get him arrested. And I can't be like, wanna bone? Because I figure massage therapists get insulted when people assume they are sexworkers. But maybe it is different for guys? They don't assume you assume they are a sexworker? Or something?
So I was like "what would Dan tell me to do?" (for real) and basically just started mmmmming and ohhhhhing a lot and being sort of flirty and shit. Also, basically ACTUALLY WAVING MY ASS AROUND IN THE AIR.
And then it was over.
So I figure if he has not tried to fuck me, he probably just wants a good tip from the businesslady entrepreneuress?
Check back for answers to these and other questions! Also, read his fucking book.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.