What the Darn-Diddly-Doodily? Did Mike Pence Make Another Fib?
Well, they may be destroying the country, but the Trump administration is definitely making the media great again. IT IS ALWAYS SCOOP O'CLOCK! Also, Good Morning, Mike Pence!
Just yesterday, we told you about Poppy Trump huddling up in New Jersey with Javanka and that rancid little weenus Stephen Miller to plot James Comey's ouster. They used their all the best words.
"UR MEAN!" They said. "Y U wont go on TV & say IM innocent? U suck!"
But when they got back to the White House on and showed everyone their bitchin' memo, White House Counsel Don "Buzzkill" McGahn totally spazzed out. Per NYTimes,
Mr. Trump was back in Washington on Monday, May 8, when copies of the letter were handed out in the Oval Office to senior officials, including Mr. McGahn and Vice President Mike Pence. Mr. Trump announced that he had decided to fire Mr. Comey, and read aloud from Mr. Miller’s memo.
Some present at the meeting, including Mr. McGahn, were alarmed that the president had decided to fire the F.B.I. director after consulting only Ms. Trump, Mr. Kushner and Mr. Miller. Mr. McGahn began an effort to stop the letter or at least pare it back.
So after McGahn said, OMG!WTF! you can't send this thing!, they turned to Jeff Sessions and Rod Rosenstein and asked them to write a memo with some not-illegal reasons to fire James Comey. Because both those guys were right there in the room for the whole discussion!
Let's just take a second here to process this.
- Jeff Sessions, who was supposedly recused from the Russia investigation, was in the room when Trump said he was firing Comey because he wouldn't exonerate him in the Russia investigation.
- Rod Rosenstein knew exactly why Trump was firing Comey, and still wrote the memo saying the guy had to go because he was mean to Hillz.
- Robert Mueller is now looking at the original Poppy/Weenus/Javanka memo.
- And Mike Pence knew damn well why Trump fired Comey before he went on television and told all those lies about Comey being "unprofessional."
Gee, Mike Pence! It's almost like you're up to your eyeballs in this Trump-Russia shit like everyone else!
The New York Times and Washington Post have now reported, however, that Pence was present in Oval Office meetings on May 8 regarding Trump’s original letter calling for Comey’s firing and was handed a copy of that letter.
Constitutional law professor Laurence Tribe said Saturday that the reports suggest the Vice President committed a felony. “Pence hid what he knew about a serious federal crime,” he tweeted. “That looks like active concealment.”
Sometimes Professor Tribe gets ahead of himself. But hey, Mike Pence, remember that time when you spent weeks swearing that you never knew that Michael Flynn was a literal foreign agent?
Which was the God's honest truth except for that letter Congressman Elijah Cummings sent you six months prior where he told you all about it. Remember that?
So you can color us SHOCKED that "Mr. Clean" is making lies again with his purty lil' mouth. Nice try, Silver Daddy! You can clear all the brush you want, but you are still going down with this ship! Don't worry, Mikey. Mother Pence will wait for you while you're upstate. Well, probably.
Please help pay our salaries so that we can keep covering THESE PEOPLE! Because OMG this shit is neverending!
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.