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Oh, look, a camera. Better think of something quick...I forgot who I am and what this building is. Nailed it.


For your "Excellent comebacks" files, this item from the Buzz Feeds: Former UK Independence Party leader (and still a member of the European Parliament, which he doesn't even like, so he's like a Trump cabinet member) Nigel Farage was spotted at the Ecuadorian Embassy Thursday, although he can't for the life of him seem to recall why he might have been there. Farage, we learn,

spent around 40 minutes in the building and left at noon, accompanied by Christian Mitchell, the head of operations at radio station LBC, where Farage hosts a regular show.

Approached by BuzzFeed News as he left to get into a car waiting round the corner, Farage said he couldn’t remember what he had been doing in the building.

Asked specifically if he had gone to the Knightsbridge building to meet with [Julian] Assange, Farage said: “I never discuss where I go or who I see.”

Well isn't that a fine spotted dick to put your toad in the hole! Looks like Mr. Farage has been listening to Steve Martin from 1979:

Buzzfeed carefully notes,

There are no known links between Farage and Assange. However, Assange was seen as pro-Donald Trump during and after the US election, and Farage has grown close to the American president and visited the White House last month.

So if Farage wasn't there to see Assange, what was he doing at the Ecuadorian Embassy? We have a few ideas:

  • Attempted to stir up populist anti-immigrant sentiment among llamas and guanacos, because fuck those murdering vicuñas. They may look friendly, but they'll spit on your heritage. In a grosser way than llamas and guanacos do, even.
  • Annoyed embassy staff by repeatedly insisting he was at the embassy of Equatorial Guinea.
  • Actually met with Assange, but they both spent the entire 40 minutes saying each other's names with progressively more ridiculous, nasal French accents. "Ass-onnnnnnnjjjjjjhhhh!" "Fuh-Rohhhhhjjjjjjjzzzzzzhhhhhh!"
  • Didn't see Assange at all; actually met with Alex Jones and chose location just to freak everybody the fuck out.
  • Tried to convince Ecuador to leave the Organization of American States, a controversial decoupling with the catchy nickname "Ecxit."
  • Actually met with Assange, commiserated over what a twat that Trump fellow turned out to be.
  • We had some other jokes about why Farage was at the Ecuadorian embassy, but we forgot them. They were really funny, too.

    Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and supported by generous donations from our readers. We would also like to clarify that we have nothing against vicuñas, nor indeed any camelid.

    Update/correction: Thanks to a careless glance at Wikipedia when Rebecca asked me what the hell Farage does now that he's the ex-leader of UKIP, I mistakenly told her he was a member of Parliament, when in fact he is a member of the European Parliament. We have updated the article; Wonkette regrets the error.

    [Buzzfeed / Photo by Marie Le Conte / BuzzFeed News]

    Doktor Zoom

    Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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