Whatever Pee Tape Russia Has On Donald Trump Must Be DISGUSTING. A VERY MAD Lesson On Recent Russian History!

Wednesday afternoon, your president Donald Trump was all finished with work, because shithead only works like two hours per day, and he was MAD that everybody in the reality-based community is horrified by how he got on the phone with the object of his affection Vladimir Putin this week and A) congratulated him on winning his (fake) Russian presidential election and B) did NOT condemn Russia for literally poisoning folks on British soil.

So he started shit-tweeting:

Gonna set aside the part about how Trump "misused" quotation "marks" to say George W. Bush didn't have the "smarts" to handle Putin, because "LOL." Next to Trump The Barely Literate Trash Baby, President Dubya looks like AT LEAST a gifted and talented fifth grader.

But we've got a couple things to say about that Obama Russian reset Trump likes to make fun of, so CAPTAIN DUMBFUCK should listen up. One is that when the Obama administration took office, Dmitry Medvedev was president, and though Putin held the real reins of power, the Obama administration thought it had a chance of working with Medvedev to get important concessions on crucial issues. But even during the "reset," Obama administration folks didn't just tongue Russia's balls every five seconds like Trump does. (Hillary Clinton especially didn't, which is why Putin hates her so much.)

But another thing is that, as things in Russia changed, the Obama administration changed. In their excellent new book Russian Roulette, David Corn and Michael Isikoff tell the story of how, after the blatant fraud-fuckery of the 2011 Duma elections in Russia, and after Putin announced that he had gotten together with himself and decided that he would like to be Dear Leader Of All Russia again, the Russian people lost their shit. They took to the streets, and they openly mocked Putin for blaming Russia's civil unrest on Hillary Clinton, because she called Russia's "democratic" elections what they were. After Putin became president again, he tightened his grip on Russia like never before, passed draconian laws against LGBT people, jailed and killed opposition leaders and journalists, and OH YEAH ALMOST FORGOT he personally ordered an espionage operation to SKULL-FUCK THE 2016 AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, partially because he's a puny puss baby who's scared of a girl named Hillary Clinton, partially because he probably has something on Trump and regards him as an intelligence asset, and partially to achieve his overarching goal of fomenting unrest in Western democracies, so that he may (LOL) Make Russia Great Again.

THAT was the geo-political situation with Russia as Trump took office. Obama tried to capitalize on a particular moment in time, and now former Obama administration officials admit they were probably too wide-eyed and optimistic about their chances at success. (And also that they shouldn't have LOL-ed so hard at Mitt Romney when he said Russia was our greatest threat. David Corn and Michael Isikoff should probably have mentioned that Wonkette is sorry about that too. Our bad!)

But as Putin changed, the Obama administration changed toward Russia, as former Ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul explains in Russian Roulette. (McFaul was basically the creator of the "Russian reset," by the way.) That's a far cry from now, when Trump, who is willing to cuss anybody in the world besides Vladimir Putin (and Stormy Daniels, probably because they both have Trump pee tapes or something like it, and they are DISGUSTING and make Trump look like a total cuck), is making sweet mouth love to a Putin who is more hostile toward the West than ever, to the point that he's SKULL-FUCKING AMERICAN ELECTIONS and MURDERING PEOPLE ON BRITISH SOIL.

Also? Trump is a stupid fucking idiot, so he doesn't understand this, but there's a big difference between trying to work with Russia where we can and literally giving Putin a free pass to steal elections and take a shit all over his own people and murder people in the British streets. Guess Trump just isn't as smart as Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, or George W. Bush for that matter.

Dimwitted fucking Manchurian President STUPIDASS.

Reportedly Trump has been BIG ANGRY DUMB HEAD over who leaked that his own national security officials wrote in BIG BOLD ALL CAPS PRINT that he should under no circumstances congratulate Putin on his fake "re-election," and chief of staff John Kelly, the "grown-up" dumbass in the room, has been BIG ANGRY DUMB HEAD too. That sucks, and we do hope they take their blood pressure meds, as we wouldn't want them to stroke out over this.

But fuck all that, because the real issue here is not the leaks, thank you very much. Hell, we should be thanking the gods there are still a few people in the White House freaked out enough by this that they feel the PATRIOTIC OBLIGATION to leak it. And while some idiot Republicans are saying they are worried by both the fact that the president of the United States can't spit Putin's dick out of his mouth long enough to govern AND the leaks, we really honestly don't have two seconds for their bellyaching about leaks. Maybe if we had a real American president, the White House wouldn't leak so much.

There are only two options here: Either Donald Trump is the stupidest person alive, or he acts this way toward Putin because Putin CONTROLS HIM. (OK fine we guess it could be both.) We don't know what Putin (or Stormy Daniels LOLOL) has on him, but whatever it is, it's got to be horrifying.

Regardless, this has gone way too far. The unfit occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is giving aid and comfort to our enemies, and he's bragging about it. It's high time for our lawmakers to do something about it.

We'll give the last word to that flaming libtard General Barry McCaffrey:

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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