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​What's Better Than Trump's Worst Poll Ever? TWO Trump's Worst Polls Evers!

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Guys, we think maybe Donald Trump is not very popular with people who are American. We know, we know, he had the hugest number of free tickets available at the last minute to his inauguration, and he was elected by a solid minority of Americans in Buttfuck, Alabama, whose votes count more than those who live in cities, because reasons.

But he's never had an approval rating of 50 percent, and if the polls this week are any indication, he might have to stick with being impressed with himself when he manages to hit 40 percent.

Shall we look at some polling pornography, or as we like to call it, poll porn? We shall.

First, let's check in with President Reality-Knower:


Sorry, Dickface, no Rasmussens for you today!

So yes, the new ABC/Washington Post poll shows Trump with a 38 PERCENT approval rating. Guess folks don't love watching Trump draw dicks on hurricane maps and call them Van Goghs for a solid week, or fight stupid trade wars he's not going to win, or any number of other dumbass things he does in a common day of being "president." And know how Trump is very worried about "economy," and is pretty sure America will just drop all its objections and fall in love with him, because "economy"? He's only got a 46 percent approval rating on that, and fully 60 percent of Americans think Trump's recession is coming. For comparison's sake, the Washington Post notes that in 2007, that number was 69 percent. And what happened soon after 2007?

The numbers get crazier when you dive deeper. Trump's approval rating among women is only 30 percent, whereas menfolk are evenly split, with 47 percent approving and 47 percent hating his guts, like all good patriotic Americans do. (That, by the way, is pretty much exactly the split he's got with white people at the moment. Stupid men. Stupid white people. Stupid white people men.)

Here's how Trump is doing in that poll against various Democrats:

By the way, the margin looks smaller for Pete Buttigieg, but bear in mind that according to this very poll, fully 38 percent of folks still have "no opinion" of Buttigieg, which means 38 percent of folks still have no fuckin' clue who he is. Even with Kamala Harris, 26 percent have no fuckin' clue. Name recognition for the top three is much higher.

Anyway, enjoy the full crosstabs on that poll right here, if you are a POLL DORK.

As we said, there's another one for us to look at, and it is from FAKE NEWS FAILING LIEMOUTH CNN.

The CNN poll shows Trump's approval rating at 39 percent, so basically the same as the other poll. (Wonder if the polls talked to each other to make sure their FAKE NEWS was the same. They probably did. WITCH HUNT!) Trump also gets super-low marks in the 30s on immigration and foreign policy and gun policy and the environment and trade. His only "high point" is the economy, which ... just kidding, he's still only at a 48 percent approval there, and that's because his recession hasn't started yet. WOMP WOMP.

What this poll REALLY tells us, though, is that a supermajority of Americans understands that Donald Trump is a fucking liar who lies about hurricanes and lies about his crowd sizes and lies about his ties to Russia and his net worth and everything else.

Jesus, look at this:

First of all, who are the nine percent of Americans who trust "almost all" of what they hear from the White House? Because they are clearly so stupid, it causes us to worry about their personal safety when conducting normal day-to-day tasks like swallowing.

But look at the rest of it! Fully 71 PERCENT of Americans either trust NOT SHIT or "just some" of what comes out of the White House. That is ... encouraging! And remarkable! And also kind of scary that the president is such a pathological liar, because what happens if something truly terrible happens in this country? We are cognizant that we are writing this on the 18th anniversary of 9/11. Can you imagine what would happen in a similar situation today? Nobody would believe a fucking word the White House said.

That said, if Trump tries to pull a Reichstag Fire, possibly with the help of his little buddy Putin, in order to make Americans panic and re-elect him, it's good to have advance confirmation that most Americans will tell him to go fuck himself.

Oh yeah, speaking of the election, the CNN poll says only 36 percent say he deserves a second term, while 60 percent say not just no but fuck no.

Guess everybody's just sick of all the winning.

[ABC/Washington Post poll / CNN poll]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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