We don't want to jinx anything but Donald Trump is losing this presidential election. He's down in every swing state and is within the margin of humiliation in Texas. Can this campaign be saved? We hope not, but we assume Trump's gonna try his best.

LOL! What? How are you supposed to respond when the president of the United States asks you for notes on his schoolyard nicknames?

According to the Washington Post, Trump's cronies want “sweeping changes" in his dumpster fire campaign. This includes deck-chair-rearranging “staff shakeups" and the delusional hope that Donald Trump will suddenly become a less loathsome carbon-based entity. They want Trump to be “more disciplined in message and behavior." Look, Republicans had their chance to replace Trump just a few months ago with Mike Pence, who is a more disciplined and polite liar, but they expended all their political capital keeping President Super-Spreader in office. Now they're stuck with a candidate who retweets videos of his supporters shouting “White power!"

Trump is slipping in all the key white GOP demos, including white seniors and white evangelicals. Edward J. Rollins, co-chairman of the pro-Trump super PAC Great America and the former campaign manager for Ronald Reagan's 1984 re-election campaign, agrees that Trump's current numbers are “atrocious."

ROLLINS: [Trump's] got to go out and add 10 points pretty quick. If he can do that, he'll win. If not, Biden is sitting there as the alternative.

Oh, that's all. Guess that's where the nicknames come in. Trump must negatively define Joe Biden, but unlike Hillary Clinton, the former vice president hasn't endured 25 years of a rightwing smear campaign and, perhaps most critically, isn't a woman.

Trump thinks “Sleepy Joe" doesn't fetch -- probably because everyone gets sleepy, especially after a big meal and some good wine. It's not much of a character flaw. He's just making Biden seem more accessible. He should've gone with Sleepless Joe, which invokes Macbeth. Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner looks like he never sleeps, or if he does, his eyes are still open and he's hanging upside down from the ceiling.

The president's advisers have “urged" him to stop using “Sleepy Joe," but they apparently won't go out on a limb and suggest he “Be Best" and drop the childish taunts. Americans are dying. Trump has workshopped “Swampy Joe" and “Creepy Joe," both of which are dumb. Biden isn't the one whose personal lawyer and former campaign manager both served time. Biden's admitted touchy-feely-ness is less a campaign issue now that he's not coming within six feet of strangers, and he's also never been caught on tape boasting about grabbing women “by the pussy."

Trump tried out “Corrupt Joe" this weekend.

“Senile" and “corrupt" are two different things. Trump needs to pick a lane. Kitchen sink attacks worked against Clinton because America's sexist as fuck and will believe a woman is ALL THE BAD THINGS at once.

He's also tweeting video of Biden's supposed verbal gaffes, which isn't strategic. It's just mean-spirited. Biden has senior moments, sure, just like people decades younger than he is. Implying Biden's mentally incompetent doesn't seem wise when Trump's at risk of losing the senior vote. Voters don't find it reassuring that Trump wasn't “misspeaking" when he recommended swigging bleach as a COVID-19 cure.

Trump's team is pushing the #HidenBiden hashtag because Biden has the sense to come in out of the coronavirus. He's not “hiding in his basement." He's leading by example and following the recommendations of medical experts. Polling supports him on this. Trump is trapped in a box that only airs Fox News.

It's baffling to think the Trump campaign wants Biden to hold more regular press conferences, where he always comes across as statesmanlike and the leader Americans wish we had during a global pandemic, economic crisis, and racial unrest.

'Donald Trump is like a child,' Joe Biden blasts US president's Covid-19 response youtu.be

Republicans also argue that Trump better represents “change," as if it's still 2016 and we're all stupid.

"I think when it comes down to a binary choice, and they look at Biden, the natural question is going to be: How can you run as a change agent and a change candidate when you spent 50 years in Washington?" said Ronna McDaniel, chair of the Republican National Committee.

The “change" voters are demanding is competence and empathy in government. Biden can deliver both without faking the funk. No insulting nickname is going to save Trump now.

[Washington Post]

Follow Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Yr Wonkette is 100 percent ad free and entirely supported entirely by reader donations. Please click the clickie, if you are able!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc