Matt Gaetz Succeeds In Getting Defense Sec To Yell At Him, Great Job Matt Gaetz!
CNN Video screenshot

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Florida), that useless bag of hair and forehead who should've gone to prison for sex trafficking by now, had a fine time grandstanding for rightwing media during a House Armed Services Committee hearing Tuesday. As Ukraine called for investigations of Russian war crimes in the murders of hundreds of civilians in Bucha, Gaetz bravely interrogated US Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin about the extremely important issue of whether the Pentagon is even capable of having good manly wars anymore since it's drowning in "wokeness."

Gatz eventually managed to provoke Austin into a shouting match, so it was clearly a win for the vacuous troll and his important agenda of being a complete asshole.

Here's video of Gaetz being a smarmy turd, and Austin growing more and more exasperated at his bullshit.

Gaetz began with the nonsensical claim that the Pentagon was becoming a hotbed of "socialism" because the National Defense University hosted a lecture by French economist Thomas Piketty titled "Responding to China: The Case For Global Justice and Democratic Socialism." Gaetz was simply aghast that the Defense University would let some foreigner advocate socialism, instead of teaching something useful like how to kill Chineses and socialists both: "Why should American taxpayers fund lectures at the National Defense University that promote socialism as a strategy to combat China?"

Well for fuckssake, Mr. Gaetz, for the same reason that universities have guest lecturers at all: because Piketty is a respected scholar whose ideas are worth debating.

Austin said that the NDU is an "academic institution," and added that he wasn't familiar with the lecture; Gaetz feigned shock that the Secretary of Defense isn't personally monitoring every guest lecture at the NDU, and then demanded that Austin repudiate Piketty: "Would you agree that embracing socialism is not an effective strategy to combat China?"

Not surprisingly, Austin said no, we're not "embracing socialism," and undoubtedly mentally added, you jackhole.

Gaetz demanded answers, damn it, like why would the Defense Department even "invite people we don't agree with to evangelize views and values that we don't share” when "we should be learning strategy about how to combat our enemies and make assessments that are accurate?"

Again, this is where we point out that this was a single guest lecture, just like lots of universities have, but apparently Gaetz was terribly upset that the NDU didn't do some cancel culture to that filthy French socialist, who probably wears a beret and holds his cigarettes like a girl too.

Gaetz moved on to another absurd attack on the Pentagon, accusing "you guys" at the Defense Department of "blowing a lot of calls lately on matters of strategy."

Gaetz: Mr Secretary, you guys told us that Russia couldn't lose. You told us that the Taliban couldn't immediately win. And so I guess I'm wondering what in the $773 billion that you're requesting today is going to help you make assessments that are accurate in the face of so many blown calls?

Austin said that the defense budget request could "speak for itself," which somehow inspired Gaetz to hare off on a tangent about the US supposedly being "behind" in hypersonic cruise missile technology, which frankly is such a stupid claim that we'll simply link to CNN's discussion of his nattering and move on to Gaetz's subsequent bullshit, in which the great military mind accused the Pentagon of actively ignoring military threats because it's turning into Woke Forest University:

While everyone else in the world seems to be developing capabilities and being more strategic, we got time to embrace critical race theory at West Point, to embrace socialism at the National Defense University, to do mandatory pronoun training.

Gaetz knew he was talking out his ass, and so did Austin, who as a retired four-star general and secretary of Defense knows a fair bit about the military. But the goading got a reaction: Austin replied that the US has "the most capable, the most combat critical force in the world," and that it will continue to be so.

Ah, but Matt was having fun making Austin angry, and knew it would make for a great clip on Fox News, so he jumped in again, insisting "not if we keep going down this path! Not if we embrace socialism!"

Sadly, Austin let Gaetz's taunts get to him, and replied, "The fact that you’re embarrassed by your country, by your military. I’m sorry for that."

Gaetz, who has far more experience being a professional asshole, pretended to be wounded, for the sake of America:

Oh no, I’m embarrassed for your leadership. I'm not embarrassed for my country. I wish we weren't losing to China. That is so disgraceful, that you would sit here and conflate your failures with the failures of the uniformed service members.

Hold on, what failures were those again? Gaetz had a terrific example in mind: The US defense establishment, like pretty much everyone in the world, thought Ukraine would be a goner when Russia invaded.

You guys said that Russia would overrun Ukraine in three to six days. You said that the Taliban would be kept at bay for months. You totally blew those calls. And maybe we would be better at them if the National Defense University worked a little more on strategy and a little less on wokeism!

Fact check: One guest lecture by a French dude does not constitute an embrace of wokeism, socialism, or even poststructuralism.

Austin shot back, "Has it occurred to you Russia has not overrun Ukraine because of what we’ve done? And what our allies have done?"

But Gaetz was rolling with the standard "Democrats weak" rant, insisting that the "Obama administration tried to destroy our military by starving it of resources, and it seems the Biden administration is trying to destroy our military by force-feeding it wokeism.” His clip for Fox News in the can, Brave Matt Gaetz yielded his time.

Then, later Tuesday, Gaetz joined more than 60 other Republicans in voting against a House resolution expressing support for NATO, just like you'd expect from a good Trump-Putin Republican. But hey, maybe it's because Thomas Piketty, the socialist, is French, and France belongs to NATO, and NATO is therefore too "woke" for Gaetz. Yeah, that's probably it.

[CNN on YouTube / CNN / Independent]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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