White House Can't Decide Who's Lazier, Mexicans Or Democrats, Napping Under The Cactus In Their Big Sombreros
The White House is working too hard to engage in lazy racist stereotypes.
The chief of staff and the press secretary for a man who starts work at 11 a.m. both took the opportunity to call Mexicans (or maybe Democrats) lazy yesterday, and because this is the Donald Trump administration, nobody got fired. John Kelly got the ball rolling with some thoughts on a possible deal to prevent the deportation of people who were brought to the US illegally as children, extolling a very generous offer Trump has made to legalize up to 1.8 million young people just as long as Democrats agree to screw over millions and millions of future legal immigrants forever. After a meeting with Mitch McConnell yesterday, Kelly explained to reporters,
There are 690,000 official DACA registrants and the President sent over what amounts to be two and a half times that number, to 1.8 million,
The difference between 690 and 1.8 million were the people that some would say were too afraid to sign up, others would say were too lazy to get off their asses, but they didn't sign up[.]
Stupid lazy Mexicans, not even willing to get off their asses and sign up for DACA because they didn't trust the US government with detailed information on who they are and where they live. It's almost as if they didn't think Barack Obama could protect them beyond his own term in office. Where would they get such an idea, with every Republican in the country insisting Obama's executive action setting up DACA was unconstitutional, and many of them running on a platform of deporting every last undocumented immigrant? Later in the day, Kelly repeated his belief that most of those who might have qualified for DACA but who didn't apply for protection (while Donald Trump was vowing to end it forever) probably just "needed to get off the couch." Or stop sleeping under saguaro cactuses while wearing big sombreros. Why, why, why, he lamented, wouldn't they get on their little burros and amble on down to apply for DACA, huh?
Later Tuesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked at the daily press briefing about Kelly's comments, and she deftly turned the question around, because while she's evil, she's at least pretty adept at deflecting questions to push the Trump agenda:
Trump propagandist Sarah Sanders deflects from John Kelly calling Dreamers lazy calling Democrats lazy over not making an immigration deal.— Richard W. (@IceManNYR) February 6, 2018
Sanders works for a lazy president who spends his mornings watching FOX News and rage tweeting. #DACA #PressBriefing pic.twitter.com/p2IvsfXgnd
Asked if it was "the position of the White House, that Dreamers are lazy," Sanders cheerfully explained how hard Donald Trump is working to help Dreamers, but Democrats just don't seem to appreciate him at all:
The position of the White House is that we want to fix a problem that was created by the previous administration. We have a system that is not lawful. We have a system that has a lot of legal loopholes, and that has a very large national security concern.
This, of course, is bullshit. The DACA program is well-supported by precedent, Donald Trump is the one who threw it all into chaos in hopes he could pressure Dems to cut legal immigration, and most of the "national security" concerns Trump has raised amount to insisting that since two or three legal immigrants out of hundreds of thousands became radicalized after arriving in the US, we must severely limit immigration of brown people in favor of people who have the important skill of being Norwegian. Besides, the real problem is those dumb lazy Democrats:
We're focused on actually getting a solution and, frankly, I think if anybody's lazy, it's probably Democrats who aren't showing up to work and aren't actually getting to the table to make a deal on this.
Asked if Kelly's comment about "lazy" Dreamers was offensive, Sanders added, "“I think that's something you would have to decide for yourself." Oh, well then, that's easy to decide, Ms. Amoral Weasel. But maybe it's not offensive -- after all, "Dreamers" does imply they're asleep all the time. Though that could just be soul-crushing depression.
Even though a federal court ruled that the Trump administration had to continue renewing DACA applications, Kelly also said that Trump would probably not extend DACA beyond the arbitrary March 5 deadline that he'd announced back in September, so if Democrats are too lazy to agree to an unacceptable "deal," well, that's just too bad for those lazy Dreamer kids. Besides, isn't everyone a dreamer now?
In other news, hardworking Donald Trump said yesterday that he'd like to see the government be shut down if he doesn't get the hardline immigration restrictions he wants.
We vaguely remember a time when overt racism like calling Mexicans lazy would get you fired, but thank God America is over that PC crap now. Besides, we're now allowed to say "Merry Christmas," for the first time in decades, so it's a pretty good deal all in all.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.