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Everyone gets an AR-15


Back in November we told you about the brave Real Americans with Guns who kept Texas from being overrun by Sharia Law through the simple act of hanging around outside a mosque, holding guns, so that nobody in the mosque got up to any America-taking-over mischief. The armed idiots, who call their group the "Bureau of American Islamic Relations" (a very clever play on the Council on American Islamic Relations), insisted their goal in carrying semiautomatic rifles and "tactical shotguns" wasn't intimidation, but self-protection. Which is no doubt why several of them wore masks, too, so their identity wouldn't be given away to the ISIS infiltrators who are all over Texas suburbs. On Saturday, the group held another of its carry-guns-at a mosque events, only this time, since they'd chosen to protest outside a Nation of Islam mosque in South Dallas, the dozen or so masked idiots were met by several hundred black counter-protesters, most of them also armed. After standing around holding their guns and flags and looking stupid for a while, the brave men of BAIR took off, and as they say, the protest "ended without incident." Here are the brave patriots, some with their faces obscured by skeleton masks to confuse The Enemy:

Image by Diana Zoga, Fox 4 News

In a now-removed Facebook post, the BAIR baiters explained they simply had to protest the mosque for "promoting violence against Americans openly and publicly," although if they listed any examples of specific threats the Nation of Islam mosque had made, the Dallas Morning News didn't see any before the Facebook invitation vanished. Still, the good old boys offered some fine old rightwing fearmongering:

We cannot stand by while all these different Anti American, Arab radical Islamists team up with Nation of Islam/Black Panthers and White anti American Anarchist groups, joining together in the goal of destroying our Country and killing innocent people to gain Dominance through fear!

Police kept the two groups apart, and soon the BAIR protesters made a strategic retreat, perfectly satisfied, no doubt, that they'd proven to the scary blacks who greatly outnumbered them that they would not be Dominated by fear. (Whether they will ever master simple capitalization rules for Standard English remains to be Seen). After the protesters withdrew, the crowd broke into chants of "black power!" and no doubt had a good laugh about the likely stains in the tighty whities of the whitey righties.

“It’s a people’s victory here in South Dallas today,” said Yafeuh Balogun of the Huey P. Newton Gun Club, named for the founder of the original Black Panther Party.

Balogun, who helped organized the counterprotest, added that he wasn’t “surprised” the group withdrew when confronted by the emotional crowd.

“Would you come out and face them?”

Happily, nobody decided that Saturday was the perfect day to start a race war, so instead we were treated only to the spectacle of two opposing groups of Americans exercising their Second Amendment rights, carrying military-style weapons and dressed in paramilitary garb. You'd think that with so much in common -- love of guns and dressing like pretend soldiers -- the opposing militias would get along better in the great big brotherhood of armed loons. Maybe next time they should try sharing a Coke and teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony.

[Dallas Morning News via RawStory / top image via Fox News 4]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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