White Lady Insurrectionist Who Thought She Was Too Blonde, White For Jail Maybe Not Totally Correct

White Nonsense
White Lady Insurrectionist Who Thought She Was Too Blonde, White For Jail Maybe Not Totally Correct

Jenna Ryan is the life-coach-slash-real-estate-agent-turned-insurrectionist who flew on a private jet to Washington DC on January 6, where she and her fellow MAGA jerks stormed the Capitol. Ryan reportedly believed God sent Donald Trump to save America, but she wasn't trying to sell an insanity defense. Back in January when the insurrectionist-in-chief was still president, she asked for a pardon, which Trump declined to the extent he's even aware she exists.

Ryan remained confident she wouldn't do any actual time for her crime. She'd tweeted in March her critical racist theory:

Definitely not going to jail. Sorry I have blonde hair white skin a great job a great future and I'm not going to jail. Sorry to rain on your hater parade. I did nothing wrong


This Twitter tirade isn't an outlier. Ryan was arrested in the first place because she was posting like a social media influencer who specializes in coups. She livestreamed on Facebook from inside the Capitol and tweeted a photo of herself standing by a broken window with the threatening caption, “If the news doesn't stop lying about us we're going to come after their studios next ... “

She also promoted her real estate business while storming the Capitol. She boasted: "You guys, will you believe this? I am not messing around. When I come to sell your house, this is what I will do. I will fucking sell your house." I'm not an expert but I'd advise steering away from real estate agents who break into buildings with violent mobs and trash the place. Doubt that's good for your Redfin rating.

Ryan pleaded guilty in August to a misdemeanor count of "parading, picketing, or demonstrating" in the Capitol. These are mostly minor charges that don't reflect the seditious effort to overturn a free and fair election. US District Judge Christopher Cooper accepted Ryan's plea, and she faces a maximum slap-on-the-wrist of six months in prison and a $5,000 fine. I feel like a Black teen would be lucky to receive that sentence after breaking into a Walmart after hours. Ryan stormed the Capitol. Maybe there's something to Ryan's “free, white, and 21" arguments.

It's worth pointing out that someone who claims Trump is their personal Jesus might feel emboldened to coup again for him. Six months in prison is a minor inconvenience for a zealot.

Ryan is scheduled for an in-person sentencing hearing on November 4, and federal prosecutors are expected to throw the book at her. They'll reportedly ask that she spend 60 days in prison. That's two months, so just a third of the maximum sentence for her crime. It's apparently a very light book.

From Huffington Post:

Ahead of Ryan's sentencing this week, federal prosecutors said she should spend 60 days in prison because she knew the day could turn violent and said she was "going to war," promoted violence at the Capitol, chanted "hang Mike Pence," promoted violence against the news media, claimed she deserved "a medal" for what she did, spread false information about the riot, lied about her participation in the riot, and "sought to exploit her presence during the attack on the Capitol for profit."

Yes, she sounds terrible. Maybe she could do an entire season in prison. The Justice Department's sentencing memo makes her sound like much more than a reckless picketer. She's accused of “publicly cheerleading a violent attack that forced an interruption of the certification of the 2020 Electoral College vote count, threatened the peaceful transfer of power after the 2020 presidential election, injured more than one hundred law enforcement officers, and resulted in more than a million dollars' worth of property damage." That's not a parade, either.

Prosecutors cited Ryan's white power tweet as evidence that she assumed she was above the law because of her race, and there's "compelling need for specific deterrence." Apparently, the two months are their idea of a lesson she won't soon forget. We can only imagine how mild Ryan's sentence might've been if she'd just been slightly less publicly racist.

[Huffington Post]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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