Who Is Being Shot By Their Toddlers Today? Your Saturday Gun-Fun Roundup!
2015 arrived with a big ol' bang, and by "bang" we mean multiple gunshots that injured or killed people for no reason whatsoever.
Here's your week in guns:
Guns Are Family Fun, Says Shooting Range
The Montgomery Indoor Shooting Complex thinks all you PC liberals should stop freaking out about their Facebook photos of children holding high-power weaponry, because guns are never dangerous ever, especially not when they're in the hands of adorable little 5-year-old minutemen. Guns and babies together are just as American as an apple pie that shoots you in the side of the neck as soon as you look away for a second.
Employee Lilly Ann Gibbs told The Raw Story that people were too quick to jump to judgment, because they're just trolling for gun safety or something:
Primarily here at Montgomery Indoor Shooting Complex, we promote firearm safety, so in order to stimulate a little dialogue, we put a controversial picture in effort to get people’s feedback and get some awareness about that topic.
Here are some of the "controversial" pictures the gun range is using to do so, courtesy of Raw Story:
I especially loved this junior Second Amendment Hero, who is showing gang-bangers and liberals the world over that he does not screw around and is disproportionately likely to die in a firearms-related accident.
The complex has apparently removed some of the most egregious photos, but left up some gems like this "joke" featuring a Wal-Mart greeter waiting to commit a mass shooting:
Off-Duty Cop Nearly Blows Out Roommate's Brains While Showing Off Cool Gun
A 28-year-old off-duty cop was showing his roommate his cool new revolver before the utterly predictable happened, resulting in the gun performing its intended function on his roommate's head. Before you jump to any conclusions, though, remember that the Second Amendment doesn't come free. The CDC reports that around 16,864 or so people took a non-fatal bullet or three in 2013 to water the tree of liberty, making both participants in this incident patriots.
"He had just purchased a new revolver that day and was showing it to his roommate, but it accidentally discharged, striking the roommate in the head," an investigator told the Clarion-Ledger.
The roommate is reported to be in "stable condition" at a nearby hospital, and presumably has a newfound appreciation for the crucial role firearms play protecting our freedoms as well as a "I'm Sorry I Shot You in the Head" card from his buddy cop.
Woman Shoots Husband Who Was Just Bringing Her Breakfast
A Fayetteville, North Carolina, man ate lead for breakfast courtesy of his 27-year-old wife, who started firing through her bedroom door after hearing what she assumed was a dastardly criminal outside in the middle of Friday morning. But it was actually just her husband bringing her actual breakfast in bed, which apparently doesn't happen in this household very much.
Just another one of the two million plus successful "defensive gun uses" a year. After all, how could she possibly know it was just a loving husband behind the door and not a bad guy with a gun? Anyhow, just ask Wayne LaPierre and he'll tell you this accident could have been prevented if another good guy with a gun was around to stop the other good guy with a gun.
The husband, who was shot in the chest, told WDTV he was "good."
3-Year-Old Shoots Grandpa in Neck in Shower
A Davidson, North Carolina, grandpa probably knows exactly who is going to be left out of his will after a three-year-old warrior-in-training shot him in the neck as he was leaving the shower. The man repeatedly told the boy to drop the unsecured weapon, a .380-caliber pistol, before the kid instead fired it.
Authorities told WXII Channel 12 that the man had removed the magazine from the gun but neglected to eject the last round from the chamber. But remember, guns are totally safe around children. Thanks to ambiguous statistics, we don't know exactly how many other children with itchy trigger fingers manage to shoot someone annually, but thanks to the New York Times we do know the number of children who die in gun accidents is at least double the reported rates.
But the important thing is that the grandpa will be okay, and the Second Amendment will be even better having seen another young citizen exercise his rights.
Gun Deaths Now Outpace Car Accidents
On Friday, The Economistreported that the CDC has concluded firearms are now on track to kill more people annually than cars, despite the fact that fewer people actually own guns these days. Guns haven't killed more people annually than cars since the mid-90s:
But necessary sacrifices sometimes have to be made to ensure our God-given freedoms. For example, the NRA might demand an unending sea of blood to guarantee Joe the Plumber has the right to stock up for the looming race war. Besides, this chart doesn't even show how many of the people who got shot really deserved it.
If this chart filled you with dread, California State University at Sacramento Professor William Vizzard had some additional depressing news: there are now so many guns in America that getting rid of them will take a lot more effort than, say, just halting production of them forever. "I compare a gun to a hammer or a crowbar. Even if you stopped making guns today, you might not see a real change in the number of guns for decades."
Welcome to 2015, the year of the gun!
[Raw Story / Clarion-Ledger / Talking Points Memo / WXII Channel 12 / The Economist]