Donate

On Tuesday, a guy named Bruce Ohr testified behind closed doors for the House Judiciary and Oversight Committees, and immediately afterward, Republican congressmen rushed in front of reporters' cameras, probably kicking babies along the way, to tell them that Ohr's testimony was BAD and just more evidence of DEEP STATE WITCH HUNT against saintly Donald Trump. We're sure GOP Judiciary chairman Bob Goodlatte really made his son proud again.

If you are a normal person, you are probably asking WHO THE FUCK IS BRUCE OHR?

If you are a brain wizard Republican like Devin Nunes, you are pretty sure Bruce Ohr is part of the DEEP STATE HILLARY CONSPIRACY AGAINST TRUMP, and you literally just went to England to see if a bunch of British spies would be willing to give you dirt on Ohr's meetings with Christopher Steele, the spy author of THE DOSSIER. (Those spies told Devin Nunes to go fuck cows.)


If you are Louie Gohmert or Jim Jordan, you spend a LOT OF TIME SCREAMING BRUCE OHR'S NAME AT CLOUDS DURING CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE HEARINGS. (In Jordan's case, we imagine his screaming muffles the sounds of college wrestlers being molested by the team doc right next to him, allegedly.)

The general "allegation" against Ohr, if you can even call it that (only if you're a moron), is that he is a longtime DOJ official whose wife Nellie Ohr did some work for Fusion GPS (the American intel firm that contracted Steele to look into Trump's Russian connections), and who communicated with Steele even after the FBI "terminated" Steele as a source just before the 2016 election. This violates ... nothing. As Natasha Bertrand explains in The Atlantic, the FBI approved the briefings Ohr gave Steele, because it wasn't like Steele was persona non grata or anything. (Steele is one of the most respected Russia experts in the world, and was the head Russianist at MI6.) Steele quit working with the FBI officially as a source in October 2016 and decided to talk to selected members of the media because he was worried the FBI wasn't taking his intel seriously, as Fusion GPS co-founder Glenn Simpson testified multiple times to Congress. We'd feel the same way, if we had just uncovered a Russo-Trumpian conspiracy to steal America and the FBI had its thumb up its ass worrying about Hillary Clinton's fucking emails!

Moron Republicans also believe Ohr was the one who originally gave the dossier to the FBI. That is not true. Moreover, Ohr has had no direct involvement with any of the Russia investigations. So ... yeah. Devin Nunes is standing below the wrong cow's bedroom window with a jambox blasting Peter Gabriel songs with this particular line of investigation. (AGAIN.)

But no matter! Now, Bruce Ohr is on Donald Trump's enemies list of people whose security clearances he wants revoked, which by extension means Ohr would lose his DOJ career. Why? Because Trump has heard shitwhistles like Devin Nunes screaming his name on Fox News, and for the president of the United States, that's even better than an intelligence briefing, because the president is the most insanely fucking stupid person in all of America.

But could there be some other thing about Bruce Ohr that might make Donald Trump want to eliminate him? We recently noted that many of the people on Trump's enemies list could be correctly described as witnesses in the investigation, both on the Trump-Russia stuff and the Trump obstruction of justice stuff. Another running theme is that several of them are absolute experts in areas that would make Trump feel particularly vulnerable.

For example, Peter Strzok, who was fired from the FBI for consensual sexting, is a fucking badass who used to run the FBI's counterintelligence unit. Notably he was a big part of the investigation that took down The Illegals, that ring of Russian spies who infiltrated America and talked American and acted American, and whose story became the basis for this little show called "The Americans." And when the FBI started its investigation into the Trump campaign's illicit ties with Russia, Strzok was on that team. Goodbye, Peter Strzok, your services are no longer necessary in Putin's America!

Of course, Christopher Steele does not work for the American government, but Trump and the GOP are shitting on the reputation of one of the foremost Russia experts in the world not only because he knows Trump's Russia stuff, but he gets Trump's Russia stuff. He is thus poised to bring a lot of pain upon the Kremlin-compromised Trump administration.

So what about Ohr? Anything on his resume like that? Oh, nothing, Ohr just likes to take down the Russian mob in his spare time and he's real fuckin' good at it. He headed the organized crime and racketeering department at DOJ, he's spent decades investigating and prosecuting Russian organized crime, and oh yeah, Paul Manafort's Russian money man Oleg Deripaska, who is also known as Putin's favorite oligarch, probably just fuckin' hates the guy:

In 2006, Mr. Ohr was part of a group of government officials who revoked the visa of Oleg Deripaska, a Russian billionaire and aluminum magnate.

HUH. Wonder why Trump world would want to go after that guy!

Here, let Rachel Maddow tell you Bruce Ohr's life story:

As the New York Times explains, Ohr and Steele have known each other for more than 10 years. So it makes sense that after Steele quit working officially with the FBI, he would still brief his old friend Bruce Ohr on what kind of Russian dirt he was turning up. (That's why the FBI signed off on it!) Ohr and Steele are, after all, two of the world's most prominent figures working to investigate crime and espionage perpetrated by Russia.

BETTER FUCK HIM UP, TRUMP!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please hit the tip jar below and make a donation of MONEY. Or click this link to become a monthly subscriber!

[New York Times]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc