Whose Job Do You Think It Was To Photoshop Trump's Hand To Make It Look Bigger?


People on the internet are talkin', talkin' 'bout people, talking' bout how it looks as though Donald Trump maybe photoshopped his hands to make them look bigger. Because, hey, they sure do look a heck of a lot bigger in his picture than in the original Getty Images photo! Here is a GIF that makes the difference even clearer.

The dude who made the GIF is a Disney animator, not your rightwing Uncle Joe with the PIXELS, so we are pretty sure he knows what is what.

HOWEVER. Although Trump has demonstrated repeatedly that he is adept at using the Twitter machine, I do not believe that he is getting it together to photoshop his own hands. This leads me to believe that it was obviously the work of someone else. Someone whose actual job it was to secretly replace Trump's hands with alternative hands that were much larger. Someone who was perhaps working on something else when their boss walked in and was like "Can you put that on hold for a minute? I'm gonna need you to make Trump's hands look bigger in this photo!"

And how weird was it later, when that person was asked "So how was your day today, honey?" and they had to be like "Oh fine, did some work, photoshopped the president's hands to make them look bigger." Did this come from Trump? Or from someone who was thinking that if he saw the picture and his hands looked tiny, he would have a tantrum! Oh! Or maybe it is their whole job and they are the Official White House Hand Biggener? Like, they sit around all day waiting for pictures of Trump's hands to come in so they can photoshop them? Maybe? Who knows! It is a mystery!

To be clear -- I'm not down for hand-shaming! In fact, I am still really perturbed about the term "man-hands" ever having been a thing. I even get hand-insecurity to a degree -- I, myself, have a tendency to let people know that I am aware that my hands are on the large side before they can ask me if this is something I have noticed before. Which, duh, I have, being that they are my very own hands. But I have never gone so far as to photoshop my hands to make them look tinier, or asked anyone to do this for me.

I mean, even the giant horse is not really helping anything here.

The only reason this is funny, honestly, is because Trump makes such a big thing out of it himself and goes to such peculiar lengths to make people think he has big hands. Which is weird! I'm not going around going "Oh, behold my dainty hands! It sure is hard for me to play guitar! And I definitely never have a problem finding gloves with long enough fingers!" all the time, and if I did, people would be very confused, I imagine. As a man with many, many obvious flaws, hands that are on the small side are the very least of his problems.

Oh but also it is funny because of this.

*UPDATE* Dana Schwarz, who initially tweeted out the photo, is being clear about the fact that it is unverified.

Naturally, lots of Trumpkins, who are also -- for god knows what reason -- very touchy about the hand size of a person they do not know, are going right over the deep end over this. Which seems appropriate. At least it's giving them a break from "investigating" pizza parlors?


Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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What did we say this morning? Something about how "They want a war with Iran," and "Please do not listen to news reports about Trump telling his people to cool their jets with the Iran talk, because they want a war with Iran, and all they are looking for is their trigger"?

News came out early this morning that Iran shot down a US drone in the Strait of Hormuz, outside Iranian waters. Let's see what our president and his war-bonering GOP shitmouths in Congress have had to say about that:

Great. Just great. So what's happening now?

Awesome. Just splendid. Trump is having a cuddle party today with John Bolton (who's had a hard-on to bomb Iran since the Bush administration); Mike Pompeo (who's been making the rounds lying and saying Iran and al Qaeda are best friends, thus implying that it's very legal and very cool for Trump to strike Iran without congressional authorization, based on the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) Congress voted for five days after 9/11); and Patrick Shanahan, the outgoing acting Defense secretary, who will make way for another acting Defense secretary, because who needs real Defense secretaries? (The new guy, Mark Esper, is part of the meeting too.) And as Senator Schatz points out above, Trump is emotionally unstable and doesn't know dick about foreign policy, so it's just great that he's having an emergency meeting with these unhinged hawks about this right now.

Tell us what this all means, unhinged hawk Lindsey Graham!

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