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Why Did Dianne Feinstein Force Republicans To Make Fun Of Rape Victims?

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It's serious business when a Supreme Court justice nominee is accused of attempted rape, and serious business should be treated seriously. Or not. You could just make light of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's accusations like a common sociopath. Lot of folks are choosing this option, as if taking Donald Trump Jr.'s lead has ever resulted in anything but pain and misery. And in South Carolina, the motto is "go big or go home." Actually, it's "we'll never forgive Nikki Haley for taking down our flag," but if the country can have two Carolinas, my home state can have two mottos.

Republican House Rep. Ralph Norman kicked off a debate Thursday against Democratic challenger Archie Parnell with some well-considered rape humor.

"I thought I was going to be late. Did y'all hear this latest, late-breaking news from the Kavanaugh hearings?" said Norman. "Ruth Bader Ginsburg came out that she was groped by Abraham Lincoln. I thought I was going to have to get back there but we don't."

Hiyo! The debate was held at a Kiwanis club. Kiwanis is a children's charity, so it was a little surprised at Norman's decision to work blue. When he was booked, they expected more of his folksy observations about how biscuits from a can aren't as good as homemade.


If you find Norman's daring new material too complex, I will attempt to explicate. The general idea is that Justice Ginsburg is very old. She's so ancient in fact she somehow managed to exceed the maximum recorded human lifespan by several decades and was alive during the 19th Century, where she was groped by Abraham Lincoln, who at least according to the most recent biography I read was not a sex offender. But I guess if you're going to defame someone's character, it's probably more legally advisable to choose a dead president and not a random classmate of Kavanaugh's.

Speaking of the author of mad conspiracy theories, once-respected conservative Ed Whelan recently shared a tweet that had some fun at the expense of Dr. Blasey's lawyer, Debra Katz. Cut to the punchline: She's just a dishonest, ambulance-chasing fraud! When did representing alleged rape victims become a dirty job? You know, this isn't some heated sports rivalry — shirts vs shirts removed against her will. Dr. Blasey claims something awful happened to her that has affected her ever since. I'm all for gallows humor but when it's the hangman cracking wise, it's a tad insensitive.

Oh well, this is where we are now. Thanks a lot, Dianne Feinstein! (This is also the title of my upcoming YA novel.) Republicans are forced to mock sexual assault because some Soros-funded crisis actor has thrown a wrench in the work of nominating to the Supreme Court an upstanding strict constructionist originalist ... oh, who cares about the legalese, he's gonna gut Roe v Wade! You didn't even know the guy until a couple months ago, but he's obviously innocent because he spends his free time riding in cars with girls. That's not normally exculpatory but it's been a weird summer.

Republicans used to think rape was serious business. Donald Trump built his campaign on racial resentment a no-rape platform. Remember how he accused Mexican immigrants of being rapists? Now rape is the new "horseplay." Who wouldn't want horseplayers in our country? This must come as a shock to Brian Kemp. The Republican candidate for Georgia governor released an ad just this April where he ignored all gun safety guidelines and pointed a shotgun at a nervous teen who was considering dating his daughter.

Maybe I misinterpreted this ad. Did Kemp only bring the gun to protect the kid from his spoilsport daughter's harpy feminist lawyers and their trumped up rape charges? Considering rape a big deal has become all PC now, like bothering to learn someone's preferred pronouns. Republicans will proudly misgender you while delivering some off-color knock-knock jokes about your traumatic sexual assault.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle.

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