Why Dumbass Republicans Want To Impeach IRS For Doing Nothing Wrong: A Wonksplainer

The GOP is once again reunited with the IRS chicken.

Remember how we reported that the Department of Justice determined the IRS DID NOT harass teabagging morans, despite the lies of Darrell Issa & Co? We’ve known this has been a non-scandal for YEARS (proof here and here), but evidence holds no sway over the GOP. Which is why they have decided to turn the faux-scandal-o-meter UP TO ELEVENTEEN:

A group of House Republicans led by the chairman of a powerful committee moved Tuesday to impeach the head of the Internal Revenue Service, saying he violated the public trust and lied to Congress as it investigated the treatment of conservative groups.

Seriously, guys? SERIOUSLY?!?! Like this fake scandal hasn’t been embarrassing enough for your party? For chrissakes, the GOP is just REEKING of desperation here, and it would be sad if this wasn’t suck a giant waste of fucking time.

Remind Me Again About This Bullshit Non-Scandal

We have reported like a bazillion times how this is a made-up scandal that Republicans have been pushing on the media for years. It started when Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) asked the Treasury's inspector general to look into ONLY conservative groups who were applying for tax-exempt status. The inspector general, who JUST HAPPENED to have worked for Issa’s committee, dutifully did Issa’s bidding. He wrote a report full of bullshit, which only helped perpetuate the conservative fetish with being victimized. Republicans falsely claimed the Obama administration was targeting Tea Party groups trying to get tax-exempt status for extra scrutiny, in an illegal attempt to ... who knows, something nefarious, we're sure.

After demonizing Lois Lerner, Congress jumped up and down and DEMANDED the Justice Department fire all the IRS employees for the biggest scandal since Americans elected that Kenyan Socialist.

We are not professional prosecutors who do things like indict sitting Democratic senators. We are merely bloggers what sit in the basement drinking cheap whiskey and snarking online. But when the Justice Department investigated, they agreed with our analysis: Republicans are crybaby wanna-be victim persecution fetishists who have no qualms lying about Obama.

Begging For More Embarrassment

We really thought that the GOP had wrung all the embarrassment out of this non-scandal. Just when you think something is as batshit crazy as it gets, the GOP manages to move the bar yet again. Seriously, just the basic fact make ZERO sense.

Mere days after the Justice Department cleared the IRS of any illegal activity, Republicans want to impeach IRS Commissioner John Koskinen. We want to be fair, so let's ask a few basic questions:

Was John Koskinen the IRS Commissioner when this non-scandal happened?


Did John Koskinen even work at the IRS when this non-scandal happened?


Was John Koskinen in any way involved in this non-scandal?


Is there any reason to impeach John Koskinen other than petty, petulant, whiny-ass bitchiness?


Seriously, we have covered some contemptible, bone-headed and downright asinine stunts by the GOP (Benghazi!!!!!11! Committee, anyone?). But we never thought something this fucking stupid would happen. What reasons does the GOP put forward?

Koskinen took over the agency in late 2013 after the scandal broke. But Chaffetz said Koskinen had told lawmakers his agency had turned over all e-mails that were relevant to the investigation, and when e-mails were found to be missing, said they were unrecoverable.

“These statements were false,” Chaffetz said in a statement Tuesday.

“Commissioner Koskinen violated the public trust,” Chaffetz said.

“He failed to comply with a congressionally issued subpoena, documents were destroyed on his watch, and the public was consistently misled.”

First off, let's think about this. Congress asked for every email that may be tangentially related to its investigation of non-illegal IRS activity. This investigation has already cost us taxpayers AT LEAST $18 MILLION. That's because staff logged more than 120,000 hours digging through the emails of 83 employees. And Republicans want to impeach the head of the department because maybe something slipped through the cracks on his watch. This, from a Congress that EXEMPTS ITSELF FROM FOIA SO WE CAN NEVER READ THEIR EMAILS. On top of being hypocritical, it's just stupid.

Responding to this GOP stunt is our hero, Rep. Elijah Cummings:

“Calling this resolution a ‘stunt’ or a ‘joke’ would be insulting to stunts and jokes,” Rep. Elijah E. Cummings (Md.) the committee’s top Democrat, said in a statement. He said the impeachment resolution was “ridiculous” and a waste of taxpayer money.

Stumbling Forward

The impeachment resolution now goes to the Judiciary Committee, where we are sure there will be a fair and thoughtful hearing. After all, that committee has such luminaries as Reps. Darrell Issa, Steve King, Louie Gohmert, and the most incompetent member of all, Trey Fucking Gowdy. Plus, their 23-16 seat majority sets our mind at ease, considering that a simple majority vote will send the impeachment proceedings to the full House.

Speaker Paul Ryan (it feels slimy just to write that) will have a test of his leadership. He claims to want "regular order," by which he means bills and resolutions work their way through the committee process before coming to the floor. But will he allow this blatantly partisan tub of propaganda come to the House floor in an election year? Or will he deny the will of the dimwitted fuckheads on the far far far far right and try to govern with at least a minimal amount of dignity?

Hahahahaha, like Paul Ryan has any dignity left.

[Washington Post / Government Executive]


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