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Why Is Michelle Obama Visiting Bin Laden's Son In The Hospital After He Did The Boston Bombings?

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So it turns out, via tipster "Michael," who would like Wonket to investigate before we get 9/11ed again, that theSAUDI NATIONAL (who has already been cleared of the Boston Bombings but only because the FBI IS IN ON IT) is actually Osama Bin Laden's son, Hamza, and Michelle Obama visited him in the hospital after he did the Boston Bombings, because she loves jihad.


Obviously, it just makes too much sense.

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Well, not really a bar, but a conference, and not just any conference, baybee. We're talking BIO, the annual gathering of biotech execs, policy makers, and scientists put on by the Biotechnology Innovation Organization (aka, not just a lobbying group!). Who has two thumbs and attended the gathering a couple of weeks ago? This Mexican.

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It's a new week in America, and as usual everything is going to hell, because that's what happens when you allow 70,000 "economic anxiety" voters in the Rust Belt, Vladimir Putin, and James Comey to decide an election. We will have many stories about Donald Trump's brutal crackdown on Hispanic toddlers today, but in this post, we must revisit that greatest of Americans, Devin Fucking Nunes, congressman from California, possible literal actual Russian agent and (alleged) cow romancer from all the most romantic novels about cow romance. As the French say, ooh la la FUCKING DEVIN.

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