Will This Scientologist's MLM Vitamins Save You From Coronavirus? Probably Not!
There will always be those who seek to profit off of any crisis, and so far, the COVID-19 pandemic has been no different. From jerks trying to price-gouge their hoarded hand-sanitizer to scammy televangelists trying to sell snake oil cures to desperate people. And while some of those people have been reprimanded and forced to stop, there will always be more to replace them.
Enter Scientologist Jim Mathers, Operating Thetan Level 8, the highest OT level and supposedly the level at which one develops the ability to communicate telepathically with plants and animals and also learns that L. Ron Hubbard is, in fact, God. According to journalist and Scientology expert Tony Ortega, Mathers is a Gold Meritorious donor, meaning that he has donated over $1 million to the Church of Scientology.
Mathers is also the CEO of Nu Skin. No, not the stuff that's like a paint-on Band-Aid, that's New Skin. Nu Skin is a multi-level marketing company that sells "anti-aging" skincare products and vitamins. Like most MLMs, it is a total scam that takes advantage of people desperate to get rich quick and annoy the shit out of everyone they went to elementary school with on Facebook. But then again, so is Scientology. So it's like a scamception, really.
In a video recently posted to Instagram, Mathers shared his take on the coronavirus, and that is that all of the things other people are doing to keep themselves and others safe are stupid, and that the best way to not get sick is to be healthy, because, as the caption to the video claimed, "healthy people don't get sick."
I would say "I think the guy who popularized jogging would like to have a word with you about that, Mr. Mathers" but he died a long time ago. From a heart attack. That he had while jogging.
View this post on InstagramIf you're worried about the #coronavirus here's the truth: healthy people don't get sick. For the past 7-8 years, I've been taking #nuskin vitamins and not only do I feel and look younger and healthier, I never get sick. #linkinbio for more information. #health #wellness #motivation #healthy #healthylifestyle @nuskin
A post shared by Jim Mathers (@thejimmathers) on Apr 3, 2020 at 1:58pm PDT
"If you're worried about the #coronavirus here's the truth: healthy people don't get sick. For the past 7-8 years, I've been taking #nuskin vitamins and not only do I feel and look younger and healthier, I never get sick," Mathers wrote in the tag for the video.
In the video, after going on and on for I think an hour about how he gained a few pounds because he ate some ice cream instead of subsisting entirely on lean protein and vegetables, Mathers explained that the Nu Skin vitamins he takes are "based on nanotechnology," and that he won't get coronavirus or anything else because said nano vitamins will protect him. Somehow. Probably with nanotechnology. And they can protect you, too!
"We'll be past this viral incident, there may be another one, who cares? Make yourself healthy so that you're resistant to disease."
Oh yeah, who cares? So some people die! We'll be good because we have our magical mystical nanotechnology Scientology MLM vitamins!
At the end of the video, Mathers makes another pitch — don't just buy his magic beans, become a distributor of his magic beans. Which does not seem like a very good idea at all.
In a 2016 episode of Last Week Tonight focused on multi-level marketing schemes, John Oliver revealed that in an average month, only seven percent of Nu Skin representatives even get a commission check. According to a former Nu Skin distributor, you have to spend over $100 and sell 80 percent of your inventory in order to even be eligible to receive a commission check. Yikes!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse