As we all know, on January 6, a group of people IN NO WAY CONNECTED TO DONALD TRUMP OR THE CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT, buncha nobodies really, had an idea all by theirselves to attack the US Capitol, to achieve something or other, nobody even knows. That's what Trump's very good lawyers tried to teach us during the impeachment trial, we think.

So it's shocking and surprising that Leo Brent Bozell IV, the son of influential longtime conservative power-player L. Brent Bozell III and great-nephew of William F. Buckley (the "F" stands for "FUCKING"), has been charged for participating in the riot. Daddy Bozell is the founder of CNSNews, the Media Research Center, and NewsBusters, and he is very screamy and hate-y. One time, he said Barack Obama looks like a "skinny, ghetto crackhead." He accused gays of wanting to marry children. The Daily Caller once called Daddy Bozell "the relatively undistinguished scion of a prominent political family."

Daddy Bozell's daddy L. Brent Bozell Jr. wrote speeches for Joe McCarthy and ghostwrote a book for Barry Goldwater.

And then there's Leo Brent The Fourth, who seems even more undistinguished than Daddy. Poor thing must have taken a wrong turn somehow! His toddler leash must have come undone, and before you knew it, he was lost in the Capitol, getting his domestic terrorism participation trophy.


Of course, Leo Brent The Fourth is not a toddler. He is a full grown man who used to coach girls' basketball, and his nickname is, um, well it's "Zeeker." Or "Zeek," according to the FBI's affidavit. How was he identified? Poor dumb Zeeker decided to wear the hoodie from Hershey Christian Academy, the Christian school where he used to coach, to the Capitol riot. Stupid Zeeker. What a stupid, disappointing FUCKING Zeeker. GODDAMMIT, Zeeker.

He was subsequently identified by several witnesses, who recognized Zeeker the dumbass.

And oh boy, Zeeker had a big day! He went in the Capitol, he came out of the Capitol. He went in the Senate chamber, he went out of the Senate chamber. He stood on the balcony with all his new friends as they screamed "TREASON!" Did Zeeker make stinky in the potty at the US Capitol that day? Unclear!

The charges? Obstructing an official proceeding, entering a restricted building, disorderly conduct.

Here's what Zeeker's daddy said about the Capitol attackers, on the day of the attack:

"You can never countenance police being attacked. You cannot countenance our national Capitol being breached like this. I think it is absolutely wrong," Bozell III said on a Fox Business show on the day of the siege. He added, "I am heartsick about that element that has been so destructive and has done so much damage to a very noble cause, but the damage they have done to conservatives like me is profound."

Yeah, ZEEKER, you big hairy fucking disappointment, Jesus Christ.

Of course, as HuffPost notes, Zeeker's daddy has also been whining that the media robbed Trump of the election by refusing to cover the very real scandals involving, um, Hunter Biden's laptop.

In summary and in conclusion, this post is over now because RUSH LIMBAUGH DED.

[HuffPost]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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