Wingnut Blogs Pretty Sure They Found An ISIS Infiltrator At Houston Deli
Here's your latest update on the continuing infiltration of ISIS in the U.S. of A.: not only are theymassing on the southern border and ready to invade everywhere, it turns out that they're already here, ordering sammiches at our American delicatessens, and patriotic Americans aren't even able to spread the warning on Facebook because Facebook enables terrorists!!! Rightwing Paranoia Tank "Western Journalism" has the nitty:
So, you’ve dropped into a Houston, TX deli for a little lunch; and you spot a guy in front of you wearing full Islamic attire with what appears to be the ISIS emblem on the front and back. You subtly take a few pictures. Then you post them on facebook, only to have them removed for supposedly depicting “graphic violence” [...]
That’s reportedly what happened to an observant facebook user named “Mike,” who has since republished the photos of the apparent ISIS follower/supporter he spotted in Houston.
Let's take a look at that ISIS logo... internet, ENHANCE!
There's only one possible explanation. ISIS infiltrators are lining up at Jason's Deli in Houston, and they're either so bad at being undercover or, far more likely, they are so brazen in their confidence that terrorist-in-chief Barack HUSSEIN Obama will not lift a hand to stop them that they proudly wear their blurry ISIS affiliation on their shoulders. That, or someone's really taking the piss and having one hell of a laugh at how easy it is to terrify rightwing Patriots.
For what good it will do, "Mike" says he reported the ISIS sighting to the FBI, not that any federal agency in Obama's America can be trusted. The commenters on Western Journalism note that every agency has been compromised, and even law enforcers trying to do their jobs are stymied by Obama's Open Borders policy, under which the Border Patrol has been ordered to escort ISIS infiltrators to one of the 30 terrorist training camps currently operating in the country.
Also, too, there's another completely context-free photo circulating in the Wingnuttosphere, purporting to show the arrest of an ISIS operative -- again conveniently wearing an ISIS logo on his back, just like a member of COBRA -- also supposedly in Houston. It's really very real, and thank god there's a bunch of wingnuts with computers, because you are NOT going to see this on the Lamestream Media:
And if you can't trust this explanation from "Mad World News," what CAN you trust?
An anonymous source within Houston law enforcement has provided photos of an alleged ISIS terror suspect handcuffed in the back of a patrol car.
While the photos cannot be confirmed, the source claims the man was arrested yesterday and promptly released.
See? Obama made them let him go!!!! The piece includes several other photos, with no clear sourcing or explanation, of a smiling bearded guy in a fake-looking ISIS get-up, standing next to a cop with a bright orange safety vest, and speculates that "the alleged arrest could potentially be a police training exercise," which the blogger is skeptical of -- after all, wouldn't the PC Overlords quash such an exercise?
We imagine that at some point, we'll learn that this was all the work of a performance art/trolling collective trying to see just how gullible wingnut blogs can be (answer: very). But in the meantime, there's really only one solution, America, and we should all listen to Ted Nugent's warning: Lock and load, Wonketeers, lock and load.
No, not your guns. Lock your doors until after Sept. 12, and load up on popcorn to see what sends these loonies into their next paranoid fit.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.