Wingnut Gay-Hatin' Texas A.G. Might Go To Jail Forever Because HAHAHAHAHA
Hey, remember that scummy Texas Attorney General, name of Ken Paxton, who had that huge baby tantrum over gay marriage in Texas? That was fun. Turns out he might get to avoid being throatcrammed by gay marriage after all, due to being in jail forever, for being a securities fraudster:
The criminal investigation against Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has taken a more serious turn, with special prosecutors now planning to present a first-degree felony securities fraud case against him to a Collin County grand jury, News 8 has learned.
You see, what had happened was they were lookin' into a thing, but then they found another thing, and it was a bigger thing, and MAYBE Paxton is great big crimer who should be removed from the streets, for the protection of the good people of Texas:
[Special Prosecutor Kent] Schaffer, a Houston criminal defense attorney, said the securities fraud allegations involve amounts well in excess of $100,000. He declined to comment specifics of the fraud allegations.
A first-degree felony conviction is punishable by up to life in prison.
OH SAD! But things might get EVEN WORSE for Paxton. Because see, you can get married in prison, which means you can get GAY-MARRIED in prison.
Anyway, this is all a huge surprise, because we've never heard of a creeper Texas wingnut with weird beliefs about gays being sent to prison for being gross and bad and crimey.
Bye Felicia! Maybe!
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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