Wingnuts Discuss Biden Supreme Court Pick About As Calmly As You'd Expect
KKK family values, Georgia, 1948. Library of Congress photo.

Joe Biden's intention to choose a Black woman to replace Stephen Breyer on the Supreme Court seems unlikely to face any serious opposition in the Senate, according to Politico, because until January — and beyond we hope — Democrats hold the Senate, and there simply aren't many procedural tricks available to Republicans, just as Democrats had little ability to block the steamroller confirmation of Amy Conehead Barrett in 2020. And even when that nominee takes her place on the Court, Republicans will still have the same supermajority they had, thanks to Mitch McConnell's infinite shittiness.

That doesn't mean rightwing media has any intention of remaining calm about any of this. There may be no real way to block whomever Biden nominates, but that's no reason not to lovingly stroke the lizard-brain fear reflexes of the Trumpy base, because how can anyone but a white male jurist be the best choice for the job? Here's the predictably spitty Ben Shapiro griping that ultimately it doesn't matter so much that Biden is making an "affirmative action" choice, because after all, whatever A Democratic nominee's race or gender, they'll be a Marxist hater of America and all that's good and holy:

[There's] a reason Democrats never miss with their SCOTUS picks: they overtly choose wild Leftists. That's the only real qualification. They wouldn't care whether Biden nominated an HLS grad who clerked for Breyer or Cardi B, so long as that person voted reliably Left.

How true this is! We all know how Barack Obama insisted on the wild-eyed firebrand Merrick Garland, who was so far to the left that McConnell had to announce he'd block Obama's nominee even before Garland was picked, that's how radical Garland was. Not to mention the Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor, both of whom have to be wild Leftists, because reasons. And Breyer himself, who has a little hammer and sickle tattoo on his earlobe that nobody can see.

Over at Fox News, the panic started as soon as the news of Breyer's planned retirement broke. Tucker Carlson fumed Wednesday evening that Biden is incapable of thinking in any terms other than skin color, and so of course he would not be choosing anyone on the basis of their qualifications.

Joe Biden confirmed today what we already knew. Our next Supreme Court justice will not be chosen on the basis of legal acumen, intelligence, wise judgment, or fealty to the Constitution of the United States. Biden believes those are outdated Eurocentric criteria. In this country, equity trumps competence. What matters, Joe Biden explained, is sex and skin color.

We suppose it might just be possible that only a racist would assume that a Black woman lacks all those qualities, but then we are all radical crazy people, don't you know.

Carlson also accused Biden of being a terrible racist for deciding that Black women deserve representation on the Court, because that magically is the same as "believing all Black women are the same." After all, they all got their jobs because they were affirmative action hires, which meant that the "best candidates" hadn't been chosen. Gosh, one might get the impression it's Tucker who's lumping all those women together.

For good measure, Carlson added that Biden might as well nominate Bridget Floyd, George Floyd's sister, since after all Joe Biden is a racist who thinks any Black woman will do.

Gosh, he sure made Joe Biden look racist there.

Not to be outdone, Sean Hannity was just one of several Foxers who speculated that Biden's decision to appoint a Black woman might be outright unconstitutional, because isn't that discrimination?

Thursday morning, Fox Business anchor Maria Bartiromo wanted to know "what kind of qualification is that, being a Black woman? Is this our standards now, in terms of the highest court in the land?”

Seldom is the question asked, "is this our standards?" Also, it's pretty mind-blowing to consider just how enthusiastically these dipshits insist that no Black woman jurist could possibly equal the intellectual power of a Brett Kavanaugh or a Neil Gorsuch.

Fortunately, we were at least able to find one non-terrible reaction to Breyer's retirement from a prominent conservative. People magazine reports that Chief Justice John Roberts said he would miss Breyer on the court, not only because he's an "energetic jurist and dear friend," but also because Breyer's "pragmatism, encyclopedic knowledge, and varied government experience have enriched the Court's deliberations," which is quite nice.

What's more, Roberts said, Breyer could be quite the card:

He is also a reliable antidote to dead airtime at our lunches, moving seamlessly from modern architecture to French cinema, to old radio shows, to a surprisingly comprehensive collection of riddles and knock-knock jokes.

Sadly, Roberts offered no examples.

Read More: Fired Fox Anchor Will Never Achieve Dream Of Whites, Blacks Hurling N-Word Equally

We suppose it's only a matter of time until we hear some Fox anchor petulantly speculate that Biden will go and pick a nominee who'll feel free to repeat Richard Pryor routines verbatim but gets offended if a white person wants to enjoy saying the n-word too.

[Media Matters / Salon / Politico]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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