In the rightwing world, there are a lot of things that are HI-larious and worthy of mockery. Encouraging kids to carve a coal plant in their pumpkins to really stick it to these tree-huggers at the Department of Energy? Funny! Calling a lady jet fighter "boobs on the ground"? Even funnier! Asking if Sandra Fluke is engaged to a man because something something slutty lesbian something? Classic comedy! Calling Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis "Abortion Barbie"? Highbrow humor. (Because she is a blonde lady, just like Barbie, and she cares about abortion rights. Get it? It's pretty sophisticated.) Suggesting Putin should be our new president since that pansy-ass tyrant Obama is such a pansy-ass tyrant? Hardy har har. Oh wait, they were serious about that one.

But joking about Mitt Romney? That is a real low blow, you rotten liberals, and it is unacceptable and unfunny and un-OK:

When one thinks about the media, the Weather Channel probably doesn’t come to mind as a primary source of liberal media bias. Strangely enough, on Monday the Weather Channel proved it can be just as bad as the liberals over on MSNBC.

And just what is the offensive biased bias perpetrated by the biased Weather Channel, which is biasedly biased? Not the appearance on Fox by Weather Channel co-founder John Coleman, who said global warming is a myth. That's just science he learned at the Weather Channel Academy. No one could dispute that. (Except for the 113 percent of climate scientists who would, but shut up, Fox reports, you decide, fair and balanced, some say, teach the controversy, yadda yadda, burp, yawn.)

You will want to hide the children, though, because of this inappropriate "joke":

Self-described "hurricane/storm specialist" Carl Parker talked about his Halloween costume with host Sam Champion and joked "I think I’m going to be Big Bird. Try to irritate Mitt Romney."

We'll give you a minute to recover from the horror.

Recovered? Good. Now, for those of you who don't get this "joke," which is NOT funny, Newsbusters -- the paragon of unbiased reporting and accuracy in journamalism -- reminds us that in 2012, the second time Mitt Romney ran for president and did not win (not to be confused with the first time in 2008 that he ran and did not win, or the third time he will maybe run in 2016 and still not win), among his many brilliant pitches to the American electorate, Romney promised to defund that bastion of taxpayer-funded liberal propaganda, Sesame Street. Romney's solution for balancing the budget was to cut PBS, which sucks up approximately 0.00000000001 percent of our budget and is therefore the first thing that President Romney would eliminate, right after Planned Parenthood and trees of a not-right height. We liberal scum all had a good hearty chuckle that Romney wanted to kill Big Bird, but it was NOT funny at the time, and it is NOT funny now.

Liberals claim they're the tolerant ones, but joking about one of the many dumb things Mitt Romney said in his failed attempt to become the first Robot-American president proves just how mean and unpolitically uncorrect liberals really are.

You want to be a comedian, Mr. Weather Channel Guy? Try joking about how a woman who got punched out cold in an elevator should learn to take the stairs. Now that's funny.


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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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