Wingnuts Just Asking: Is Hillary Clinton A Violent Spouse Abuser? And A Lizard Person?
Stupidest Guest Blogger on the Internet Kristinn Taylor is simply asking a simple question: Aren't Democrats the worst hypocrites ever for even considering nominating Hillary Clinton for president, given the undisputable fact that a new book alleges that she is a "violent spouse abuser"?
After all, says Taylor, we already know that Clinton has a "rage problem," as everybody saw "during the January, 2013 Senate Benghazi hearing where she infamously shrieked, 'What difference at this point does it make?'" Yes, we remember that. Just not the shrieking part. We checked the video again, and there isn't any shrieking, really. There's irritation and a slightly raised voice in response to badgering questions and interruptions, but no, we've heard shrieks, and that's not one. You can look it up.
We have to admit that Mr. Taylor's judgment can at times be questionable -- after all, he's the genius who completely made up the claim that workers in Dallas were exposed to a mist of all-caps EBOLA-LACED VOMIT while cleaning the sidewalks outside the apartment complex where a patient lived.
And Taylor also managed to turn a rundown motel that was going to be rehabbed into a dormitory for child border crossers into a "$50 MILLION RESORT for ILLEGAL CHILDREN" -- never mind that it wasn't being run by the feds, didn't cost $50 million, and wasn't a "resort." That story got so much play in the Wingnuttosphere that the charity withdrew its bid, and the kids got to stay in overcrowded jails instead. So let's just say that Kristinn Taylor has a real talent for hyperbole.
Still, Taylor's pretty sure that if it weren't for the leftist media always covering up for the Clintons, the revelations in the book, Kate Andersen Brower's The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House, would surely sink Hillary Clinton forever:
The double standard involved is one conservatives are used to. Just switch Sarah Palin with Hillary Clinton and know it would be wall-to-wall coverage with calls for law enforcement to investigate and for Palin to withdraw her candidacy.
Hmmm... We were just wondering how that Benghazi investigation would have gone with Sarah Palin sitting at the witness table.
So, what's the big juicy reveal? The book, based on interviews with White House domestic staff, recounts a whole bunch of rumors and stuff heard through doors, and you'll never believe this incredible revelation: Hillary and Bill apparently argued very loudly after the news about Bill's affair with Monica Lewinsky broke, and she may have thrown something!
Politico covered up for the Clintons by only excerpting a paragraph about one fight, in which a former White house florist recounts standing outside the door of the West Sitting Hall and listening with two butlers to the sounds of a muffled kerfuffle:
The butlers motioned him over and put their fingers to their lips, telling him to be quiet. All of a sudden he heard the first lady bellow “goddamn bastard!” at the president — and then he heard someone throw a heavy object across the room. The rumor among the staff was that she threw a lamp. The butlers, Payne said, were told to clean up the mess. In an interview with Barbara Walters, Mrs. Clinton made light of the story, which had made its way into the gossip columns. “I have a pretty good arm,” she said. “If I’d thrown a lamp at somebody, I think you would have known about it.”
Mr. Taylor grimly notes that Politico deliberately covered for Hillz by leaving out "Hillary’s alleged bloody attack on Bill." In fact, this bothers him so much that he mentions it twice in the space of three sentences. But thank heavens the New York Post at least had the journalistic integrity to quote the damning allegations that prove Hillary is a dangerous rage-harpy:
During the height of President Bill Clinton’s Monica Lewinsky scandal, a White House maid entered the bedroom to clean and was shocked to find the president and first lady’s bed covered in blood.
The blood belonged to the president, who said publicly that he “hurt himself running into the bathroom door in the middle of the night.”
But the White House residence staff believed differently. As one worker told author Kate Anderson Brower, “We’re pretty sure [Hillary Clinton] clocked him with a book.”
“There were at least 20 books on the bedside table for his betrayed wife to choose from,” Brower adds, “including the Bible.”
Taylor solemnly cites another rightwing blogger who Looked It Up, and it turns out that "if true Hillary Clinton committed a felonious assault on the president that carries a prison sentence of up to ten years under federal law."
And then he quotes the law, just to prove how very serious a matter this is -- after all, we have the incontrovertible evidence that some White House domestic staff believed that Hillary clocked Bill with a book, so why hasn't the pile of books on the White House bedside table been given a DNA swab to confirm or deny this?
Taylor closes with some beautiful evidence that he has absorbed enough Feminism 101 to pretend to give a shit, as long as it can be used against a shrieking rage addict like Hillary Clinton:
Spousal abuse is a serious matter. The political press owes it to victims of spouse abuse to seriously investigate Hillary Clinton so the public knows whether or not she is a violent spouse abuser.
Gosh. If only Mr. Taylor had found a way to wedge "spouse abuse" in there one or two more times. So the question is not whether Hillary Clinton would make a good President. The real question is why isn't she in JAIL for domestic violence and also probably murdering those 4 Americans in Benghazi?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.