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Wingnuts Worried Their Anusburgers Sacrificed To Wrong 'Demon-God'

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Watch out, American Jesus fans! According to a couple of wingnuts somewhere, the poop-snausage pizza you're eating from the Papa John's might've beensacrificed to the wrong Demon-God! W-w-whut? It's apparently true! Jews and Muslims, besides both being Semitic people of the Hebraic traditions, also like to have their factory-farmed animals killed in the industrial slaughterhouse by undocumented Mexicans in special ways. It makes it taste better, we guess? But did you know there is a scary problem for American Jesus Christians when meat is "lawful" for the various foreign religions? Some random anti-Muslim evangelical and a noted crazy person on the Internet are both concerned about this problem! For example, the Costco is doing "backdoor Sharia" by, uh, selling slaughtered animals that have been blessed by the Ayatollah or something? Not Costco, jesus christ!


From, obviously, World Net Daily:

When you bite into a delicious pizza, succulent sandwich or luscious lamb chops, are you possibly eating food that has been sacrificed to idols?

An outspoken American pastor says yes, and he's sounding the alarm for Christians to be aware of the Islamic influence he calls "backdoor Shariah" now nibbling its way across the fruited plain.

See, we didn't even make up "backdoor Shariah." We didn't need to.

It's not just the Costco 200-packs of Halal Lamb Tacos that have the wingnuts up in arms. They can't even go get their usual five or six "footlongs" from the Subway franchise these days, without maybe eating secret Muslim meat! Writes "award-winning journalist" Joe Kovacs at the WND website: "Connecticut-based Subway, which has more than 23,000 sandwich shops in the U.S. and nearly 34,000 worldwide, is proud to be offering halal food in communities where there's a demand for it."

Demand for it, eh? We've got two decade-old holes in the ground in the community of Manhattan that demand vengeance against these idolators' cold cuts, that's what!

The real problem, according to ridiculous ass-clown bigot Bryan Fischer, is that when you say the Jewish/Christian god's name in the wrong Semitic language, that god instantly turns into a Hell Monster. This is probably in a recent rewrite of the Bible, or a Chick Tract!

In England, which is already an Islamic Republic, every type of anusburger or "bangers 'n mash" are already worshiping the wrong make-believe deity:

Even fast-food joints like Domino’s Pizza, Pizza Hut, KFC, and Subway are using halal meat, but they aren’t telling their customers about it either. Domino’s, for instance, has been serving halal chicken for 10 years in 580 outlets across the fruited U.K. plan. Folks in hospitals, schools, and pubs across the U.K. have been eating food that has first been blessed in the name of the demon-God Allah but know nothing about it.

The demon-God Allah sounds so much more awesome than the faggedy-ass war-losing American demon-God, that's for sure! We'll have our chicken-butt nuggets Halal style ... for winners! [World Nut Daily]

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Uh oh, looks like George Conway, husband of Kellyanne, is going to be sleeping on the couch for another week, because they are having That Fight They Always Have, the one where he says her boss (the president) is certifiably mentally unstable, and she's like "nuh uh," and we guess she reminds him that if that so-called certifiably mentally unstable person wasn't president, then she wouldn't be making a government salary for going on Fox News and lying to the American people.

It started this weekend with Donald Trump's latest Twitter rampage, which is still going on, and which avid watchers of Trump's Twitter habits agree seems to suggest that he is real upset about something. Like, more than usual. The sort of upset he gets when Robert Mueller is about to arrest his son, maybe. You know, ALLEGEDLY.

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Still no solution for shapeshifting trespassers

Hey, while every media outlet is doing exactly the same stupid horse-race political coverage they said nobody should be doing, the actual candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination are busily putting forward policy proposals -- the things pundits and voters keep saying they want to know about, at least in between discussions of "likeability" and whether Chuck Todd thinks candidates are bipartisan enough. So hey, here is a cool housing policy idea from Elizabeth Warren, who's trying to out-nerd everyone else with a proposal to make housing more affordable and even redress some of the nation's terrible legacy of housing discrimination. What a weirdo!

Warren outlines her housing proposals here, and we like 'em. There are even linkies to studies supporting her proposals, yay for info geeks! She notes that, for grownup adults, where you live (more precisely, where you can afford to live) has enormous consequences.

Housing is not just the biggest expense for most American families — or the biggest purchase most Americans will make in their lifetimes. It also affects the jobs you can get, the schools your children can go to, and the kinds of communities you can live in. That's why it's so important that government gets housing policy right.

Problem is, the federal government has spent decades getting housing policy very very wrong, from building racial discrimination into housing policy for much of the 20th century, to letting the big banks screw over homeowners and taxpayers as well. And of course, not doing much of anything to address the crunch in affordable housing for low and middle-income people. How's this for some real class warfare, via the supposedly invisible hand of the market:

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