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Top o' the Sunday Funday, Wonkers! And also Happy Mother's Day, if you are a lady who is a mommy! Let's take a moment to reminisce about the week's most hilarious stories, for us to laugh at together.


But first, remember that your Wonkette loves you LIKE a mommy, which is why we work very hard to make you laugh, while also informing you of all the top stories. And it takes money to do that. So what do you say you give us $5, in honor of your mommy? It's easy to do! Just click this link and say "here are five of my dollars, Wonkette should have them, because it's Mother's Day!" Or you can give us money for a different reason, of your choosing, that's allowed.

We'll wait while you take care of that.

All right, here are your top ten posts of the week, chosen by you, the wise readers:

1. You sure did get mad about Wisconsin fucking their poors so hard that they are now disallowing SNAP recipients from buying DRIED BEANS IN BULK, for God's holy sake. GET MAD AGAIN!

2. You also got mad about that nice Christian who made a video game where you get to "kill the faggots," because that's a totally normal kind of video game to play.

3. You just loved Dok's story about how, in 1979, Mike Huckabee was already a Biggus Dickus, preaching against Monty Python's Life Of Brian.

4. The Operation Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theories are getting funnier and funnier. Here's the one where Walmart had to reassure the Texas wingnuts that no, they are not building secret tunnels so that the Chinese can come kill them. OR ARE THEY?

5. Rick Santorum accidentally Said A Nice about Bruce Jenner, and he had to put a dollar in the Republican compassion jar, which is like their version of a swear jar. He promises never to do it again.

6. We all laughed and laughed about that normal Nebraska lady who decided to sue ALL GAYS, for their gayness. Her case was, of course, dismissed.

7. Did you know that Satanic temples have Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs about abortion too? It's true!

8. Try to contain your shock, but the military is even more rapey than we thought.

9. The Snake Oil Bulletin had to explain last weekend that no, your cat is NOT a vegan. You, on the other hand, are an idiot who is killing your cat.

10. Another Jade Helm story, wherein we reported on the FEMA TRAINS (!!!) that are going to put Texas in a FEMA camp. BYE FELICIA!

What a fun week we had!

Remember, we are also at your service on the Facebooks, the Twitters, and the Tumblrs! Wonkette is all the places, and all the places are Wonkette!

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Again, your Wonkette loves you very much! If you missed your opportunity above, don’t even worry about doing hard stuff like scrolling up. You can just click THIS link and give us $5. Or you can give us more. We are not opposed to that!

Okay, now go have a nice Sunday, and try not to get taken to the FEMA camp, if you are in Texas.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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