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Wise Teen Girl Proves Benefits Of Home-Schooling: Being Gay Turns You Into A Duck

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Parents! Have you ever wanted to rip your kids from the dastardly public school system, but worried that your own lack of education (and terrible laziness) would turn your children into raving dolts? Well worry no more, as a website for LGBT people with mental health issues in New Zealand (there really is a home for everyone on the World Wild Web!) points us to the following letter to the editor from 14-year-old Jasmin H., who proves handily that home-schooling your children leads inexorably to wisdom, logic, and insight. Jasmin weaves together a plethora of data points in a tour de force that explains that since the Romans did homo stuff in each other's butts, evolution proves that being gay makes you compete with ducks, if evolution were a thing which it obviously isn't. Let us gaze upon it in wonder together, after the jump!


Now, we once knew a home-schooled family of the right-wing Christian variety where the children were truly smart, lovely and upstanding, and the mom honestly took her duty to educate them quite seriously. We once paid those kids $5 to feed our dog for the weekend, and they not only did so, but they walked her, they brushed her, and they picked up her poo. Obviously, this was a home-schooling family of righteousness.

And if they'd written a letter to the editor about homosexuality destroying society, which wouldn't surprise us, it would have made a lot more sense.

[BiPolarBear]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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