WND: Barack Obama Was Not Born In America Or Even At All Maybe

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In the years since President Obama first usurped the White House, we have come to expect a certain level of sophistication to the reasons why he should be impeached, or sued but really impeached. For invading countries too much and not enough. For being the weakest mom jeans-wearing tyrant ever. For spending 27 hours a day covering up Benghazi while playing too much golf. Et cetera ad infinitum ad nauseam oy vey.


So it's refreshing, really, to remember the good old days of a more civilized era of birtherism, that most charming and not at all racist or plainly insane conspiracy theory that Barack Obama is too [stage whisper] not white to have been born in America, why, just look at him, does he look American to you? By now, all but the wingnuttiest wingnuts have given up trying to prove that the simplest explanation is that the Obama family, probably in cahoots with the Kenyan government, planted a fake birth certificate in a local Hawaiian newspaper to falsely announce the birth of the "Hawaiian" baby who would grow up to infiltrate the United States and impose Kenyan Marxism on whitey, OBVIOUSLY. (Although even today, there are STILL questions about, even if his "birth certificate" is "real," why he waited so long to "prove" it, maybe it's because he loves to be a "victim of birtherism.")

Thankfully, WorldNetDaily will never give up, never surrender in its eternal battle to prove once and for all that Barack Obama is a lying liar who lies. But now, there's a new twist:

On Tuesday of this week, Barack Obama turned 53. Or so we were told.

On the occasion of this presumed birthday, it might be useful to revisit a claim by Obama himself as to when he was born, one that would put his current age at 48 – or younger.

Now, before you start planning your funeral because you have died from laughter, please consider the evidence that the president is not only lying about where he was born, but when he was born. It is overwhelming. Prepare to be overwhelmed.

On the campaign trail in March 2007, Obama gave a critical speech in Selma, Alabama, the Concord Bridge of civil rights history.

There, Obama used a very different dialect, his Sunday best Southern black preacher voice, to tell a story that either: a) puts his current age at 48; or b) was so comically unanchored to reality that if a black Republican had told it, his candidacy would not have survived that night’s evening news.

“My very existence might not have been possible had it not been for some of the folks here today,” Obama told the civil rights veterans gathered to mark the events of “Bloody Sunday” in 1965.

BOOM. Even though this gotcha story has already been forwarded by every drunk uncle with an AOL account for the last seven years, it has never been given the proper attention it deserves, and thank god professional birther Jack Cashill will keep reminding us about it until we wake up, sheeple. Cashill is also the expert who proved that the picture of Barack Obama with his grandparents is a fake because Barack Obama is not in the picture. Yes, he's that guy.

It's just plain logic that if Obama were telling the truth in March 2007, "by his calculations, he could have been born no sooner than 1966." And while we have learned from Jack Cashill that Obama has never told the truth about anything, if we just believe this one part of this one story, it proves that Barack Obama has been lying about being born in 1961 to throw us all off the scent of the bigger lie that is his "birth certificate," which proves that he was actually born in Kenya, which proves that he is not A American, which proves that he cannot be the president of the United States, which proves that he is not actually the president, IMPEACH.

[WorldNetDaily via RightWingWatch]

Follow Kaili Joy Gray on Twitter. She was born in 1978. Or was she?

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