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Wolf Blitzer Blog Post Answers Every Question You Had About Politics

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Are you confused about how last night's Republican debate "will play" with the voters of Arizona and Michigan? Or what about politics in general: Are you confused about what politics is? Your Wonkette had no idea about any of these things -- all these years we've just been liveblogging SportsCenter for each post -- until we readthe latest installment on BLITZER'S BLOG, in which Wolf Blitzer types nonsense about politics in the exact same hilarious voice he uses to deliver non-news and military propaganda on his daily CNN program. What does he have to say about politics today?


He warms things up with a trifecta of hackneyed sedatives, to capture the reader's attention:

If you think it’s been a rough ride for the Republican candidates during this current campaign season, just wait. This will be seen as child’s play once the general election campaign begins.

I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again...

Now we'll jump straight into the Beltway insider analysis: Democrats and Republicans will verbally attack each other during the 2012 Presidential Election. It will be something.

I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: the war of words between President Obama and his campaign supporters versus the eventual Republican nominee and his supporters will be fierce.

Wolf, a careful journalist, arrived at this conclusion last night. He noticed an interesting thing, on television. Republican presidential candidates were saying bad things about the current Democratic president.

I was thinking about that during last night’s Arizona Republican debate on CNN. The rhetoric against President Obama was intense.

And that mean rhetoric from last night? There will be more mean rhetoric from the Republicans between now and November, during the presidential election. The Democrats will also use mean rhetoric, but against the Republicans. The Republicans and the Democrats will also have money, and money can be exchanged for goods and services, such as advertisements featuring mean rhetoric.

And that’s just for starters. Just wait for what’s coming.

By the way, the president and his supporters will not be shy in fighting back.

And like the Republicans, they will have hundreds of millions of dollars to finance attack ads.

Should we get ready for anything?

Get ready for a brutal political season.

Huh.

[CNN]

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen's week is going so great, she's earned herself one of Wonkette's prize-winning GO FUCK YOURSELFS! (Prize awarded to Wonkette by Wonkette.)

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