Morning Wonkers, here's some of the stories that may grace the pages of yr Wonkette today!
Donald Trump continues to be outsmarted by Khizr and Ghazala Khan , reducing Mike Pence to the janitor that cleans up his bosses word vomit .
Will outspoken Berner and Ohio state Senator Nina Turner be Jill Stein's Veep , and will anyone care?
Not only was the DNC and the DCCC breached, Hillary Clinton's campaign is reporting a hack too , and they're blaming the Rooskies!
Donald Trump HATES firefighters because they pulled his fat ass out of a stalled elevator.
The Commission on Presidential Debates told Trump and the RNC to shut the hell up and stop complaining about presidential debates interfering with sportsball.
Bernie Sanders is saying to calm the hell down , and look at the big picture.
LOL Rand Paul is broke . Maybe he should audit himself?
New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez was denied an appeal for bribery charges. Let's all point and laugh at this huge scumbag!
Charles Koch might hate Trump, but he hates Hillary Clinton more because she has a filthy liberal vagina.
David Duke wants to fight for "Europeran Americans" in the Senate.
Mark Cuban has entered the rich guy pissing contest with Trump and Bloomberg after calling Trump a "jagoff." Pittsburghers cheered, or booed, or whatever it is Pittsburghers do (they boo Santa).
You have to have a few flaws for it to be convincing - "perfect" things trigger the Uncanny Valley effect.
Also penny tipper McConnell.