Morning, Wonkers! It's Monday, so set aside your depression over the new work week, curl up in a cozy ball with yr Wonkette and let's do some news!

• Hillary Clinton did the best James Brown impression during a 9/11 ceremony Sunday when she seemingly fainted while flanked by handlers.
• Clinton called Trumpkins a "basket of deplorables" because the most vocal ones tend to be racist assholes. Clinton later apologized to mediocre gift baskets everywhere.
• Do you remember the time when Trump bragged about his glass house being the tallest building in New York just after September 11? It happened.
• CIA Director John Brennan called out Trump's bullshit assessment of his intelligence briefing.
• Rudy Giuliani thinks Trump's idea about taking all the oil in Iraq not only physically possible (it's not), but also legal (nope) and just gosh-darn swell idea.
• So many silly things were said during the Value Voters summit that it'll make your head spin around and spit pea soup while you hurl clever insults at a poor preacher.
• More football people are are not standing during the national anthem.
• The crazy guy who shot Reagan, John Hinckley Jr., was released from a psychiatric hospital and somehow, somewhere, someone is looking for a way to pin this on Obama.
• Media Matters wants Fox News not to Benghazi its emails about how it obtained personal information from reporters and their anonymous sources.
• Dick Cheney has balls to blame 9/11 on Obama in an op-ed. (Archive)
• Congress critters are trying to decide whether or not to pay the bills (AGAIN!), or to just say, "Fuck it."
• A nice lady in Maine is trying to unseat a GOP congressman by not being a complete lunatic.
• That obnoxious Pharma-bro went to Clinton's house and then proceeded to be a complete douchebag.
• Interwebz cyber jerks stole tax information about lots of people through the IRS's new tax transcript service.
• A Utah cop and his family sat out the national anthem after Confederate flag was raised during a demolition derby.
• Barbara Streisand wrote a Donald Trump song you didn't know you wanted.
• And here's your morning Nice Time! It's Seth Meyers and Michelle Obama giving advice to college freshman at Howard University!