bristol palin Carter Page clinton Corey Lewandowski dakota meyer donald trump jr fox news george w. bush Glen Beck gonzalo curiel Greta Van Susterin gretchen carlson ivanka trump jeb jeb bush Jessie Ventura john mccain Kelly Ayote kevin brady megyn kelly paul manafort paul ryan PT Newz breif reince preibus roger ailes Ron Portman russia sally bradshaw sexual harassment tim huelskamp trump trump university
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, August 03, 2016.
Morning, Wonkers! Here's some of the stories that may grace the pages of yr Wonkette today!
- Trump is "not quite there yet", and won't endorse Kelly Ayote, Paul Ryan or John McCain, even though McCain and Ryan have bent over backwards to polish Trump's...cheetos, and Ayote is struggling in her re-election. This has led RNC Chairman Reince Priebus to be "apoplectic," with rumors suggesting that the RNC is seriously considering a nuclear option to replace Trump.
- An aide to Paul Manafort told a reporter person that Trump's campaign chair is just "phoning it in," and that the campaign is "suicidal." Really? You don't say?
- Trump's Foreign Policy Adviser went to Russia just before the GOP was set, raising questions about Ukraine policy. We're sure it's just to make it easier to get mail-order slav-- err, brides.
- MESSICAN judge Gonzalo Curiel denied Trump's motion for summary judgement in the "totally-not-a-scam" Trump University case.
- Trump has been endorsed by Robert Mugabe; he'll probably advise him on how to properly ethnically cleanse a populace.
- Bristol Palin's boo, Dakota Meyer, wants Trump to extend his baby hands in apology to Khizr Khan.
- That jobs program Trump says is going to put all the poors and the olds back to work? He kind of plagarized that from Obama and Clinton.
- George W. Bush spoke at a fundraiser for Ron Portman where he delivered critiques against "isolationism, nativism and protectionism." I wonder who he was talking about?
- Meg Whitman will vote for Hillary Clinton, and so will JEB! advisor Sally Bradshaw, because they're man-hating traitors with blood coming out of their wherevers.
- Fox News ladies are slapping their foreheads after Trump said he'd want his precious Ivanka to find another job if sexually harassed, which sent her brother on Charlie Rose to say that they best be hittin' up human resources, which THEN sent Ivanka herself on Fox to man-splain to Greta Van Susterin. Oh, Megyn, what are we going to do with you?
- Someone forgot to tell Corey Lewandowski the birther movement is dead because he was on teevee spouting off that tired, racist bullshit.
- House Ways and Means Chairman Texas Rep. Kevin Brady just wants to remind all the Berners and LIBRULS that he'll fight for the working-class, white collar pharmaceutical industry. Take that, hippies!
- A Tea Party whacko from Kansas lost his primary to an obstetrician. Yep, that's the joke!
- Glen Beck thinks Russia is trying to "seed revolution on the streets," and "trying to take down Hillary Clinton." Yes, THAT Glen Beck. Let that sink in.
- Jessie Ventura (the wrastlin', alien-huntin' ex-governor aka, "The Body") hates Trump, but loves the idea that Trump is destroying the Republican party.