Wonkers With Businesses, Haw Haw Haw As If, Come And Advertise On Your Wonkette!
Let us go and sell our wares to the wonkers, fellow, what what ho!
Are You A Jerb-Creating Businesswoman Entrepreneur Friend Of Wonkette? Man, You Must Be Awesome
Are you a Wonker with a business haw haw as if, tell it on your OBAMAPHONE! Or if the answer is yes, and you are a real Wonker for real, like you get at least a third of our dumb jokes about #butts, maybe you need to advertise your wares to your dumboncrat Wonkette community, for them to order your thing for untold riches (of love)!
We will shove you in a special slot called "Friends of Wonkette For Real" and then the Terrible Ones will know to buy your "hula" "hoop," or your vegan non-alcoholic John Boehner soap, and you will give us a healthy percentage that is fair and that you will like. We can also place links to your item in our WonketteBazaar! The more wonqerenos who do this, the fewer suck ads of grossness we will have to run in order to not sex-traffic ourselves.
Check out our advertising page for more info, or just write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org and when you say jump, we will say "HOW HIGH (are you right now, just kidding, advertising on Wonkette.com is the super best funnest way to go!)."
In conclusion, give us some money.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.