WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Let's Eat Bon-Bons And Braid Hair With The Tennessee Gay Marriage Plaintiffs!
On Tuesday, plaintiffs in Obergefell v. Hodges journeyed to the Supreme Court from many faraway exotic lands -- Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan to be specific -- so that their case, to bring marriage equality to themselves and, by extension, to America, may be heard. If you have not heard about this news, you may read this Wonkette Legal Analysis of what went down in that courtroom!
Wonkers might remember that, in January, we chit-chatted with Thom Kostura and Ijpe DeKoe, the Tennessee plaintiffs better known to their friends as Bonkers and Yip-Yap, about how excited they were to get to go Supreme Courting. Now they have gone there and because FULL DISCLOSURE, they are friends with yr Wonkette, they agreed to let us yammer some questions at them, for our readers' perusal and gratification.
So here we have a WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!! interview with Kostura and DeKoe, as they bask in the afterglow of going to the Supreme Court to tell everybody what's what about gay marriage. Also, they were very rude to your Wonkette, but not as half as rude as they are to us in person, which is why we love them.
WONKETTE: So, you got to go to the Supreme Court yesterday! Was it exciting? Tell us about all that.
DeKoe: Almost as exciting as getting a phone call from our own personal Wonkette, but with more meaning. Frankly it was all overwhelming, exciting, and will go down as one of the most significant moments of my marriage to Thom.
Kostura: It was incredible. We were only admitted for Question 2, regarding recognition, which is exactly what our case is about. We were legally married in New York, and moved to Tennessee due to Ijpe's military assignment. Most impactful to me was our attorney Doug Hallward-Driemeier's use of our personal stories as part of his 5 minute rebuttal at the end.
WONKETTE: So! How exhausted are you two right now? Tell us about what the past few days have been like.
Kostura: We're spent. We had a friend's memorial to attend on Saturday, Ijpe's father got married on Sunday, we traveled to DC for oral arguments on Tuesday, and now we are talking to you! We cannot wait to get home and invite you over to dinner.
WONKETTE: We accept your invitation! So, you're famous now, getting to be on the Nightly News with Not Brian Williams and shit. How are you handling the fame?
Kostura: Pretty good. We made it onto Wonkette's radar again, which has got to count for something, right?
DeKoe: My people will get back to you on that.
[Ed: This is a lie, they love each other so much it's gross, and also inspiring to everyone else, even opposite marrieds.]
WONKETTE: Did you force a baker to bake a gay cake for your gay wedding?
Kostura: No, we bought pizza instead.
WONKETTE: So besides being gay marriage culture warriors, you do other things. Ijpe is in the Army and Thom is a magnificent artist, having just finished an MFA at the Memphis College Of Art. We know what the Army does, but tell us about Thom's art!
[Ed: Their reply was snarky, so we banhammered it with our delete button. Thom's website is here. You should go to it and learn how he makes these incredible pieces, which are co-creations between the artist and RAINSTORMS. If you are interested, they are for sale!]
WONKETTE: So, fingers crossed, this may be The Big One, the one that gives marriage equality to the entire US and A. Aren't you glad yr Wonkette introduced you to the people who convinced you to join this case?
DeKoe: We're delighted that Tennessee Equality Project and the Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center are behind us. True, we did decide to join this case over cocktails. But it was the best decision we ever made.
WONKETTE: Thanks for not answering our completely self-serving question, GUYS. Anyway, there you have it, Thom Kostura and Ijpe DeKoe are the best, and they will be your new gay overlords when SCOTUS rules in June, hurray! And they will make your Wonkette dinner, very soon, once they get a chance to breathe, or whenever we demand it, because we deserve it.
[Photo of Thom & Ijpe via Thom's Facebook, taken by the amazingly talented photographer from NCLR]
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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