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Wonkette Funtimes Activity Page: What's Wrong With This Picture Of Bristol Palin's Beau?

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After Yr Wonkette offered our sincerest congratulations to Bristol Palin and her brand new fiancé Dakota Meyers, some smart social-media-follower found this lovely photo of Sgt. Meyer on the Instagram, simply titled "Me and Rowan." We have no idea who Rowan is, but we'll assume it's the baby there, because we are smart this way. But we thought you might enjoy this Fun Activity Puzzle Page for Kids, since this is clearly one of those pictures from Highlights for Children where you need to identify what's hilariously out of place in the picture, and maybe find the hidden images of a toothbrush, a fruit bat, and a Medal of Honor winner who's marrying a born-again virgin. So look at the photo for a moment (don't peek at the answers below!) and see how many things YOU can find in this photo!


[contextly_sidebar id="RJo8wvIB3VAIWPf1XpS0z55EftvDpuSd"]

Ready, GO!

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Answer Key

1. Dakota is wearing a Satanic Monster Energy Drink logo on his shirt, which no decent Christian would ever do.

2. Baby is sedated with store-brand cold medicine. If you love a baby, give the li'l nipper genuine NyQuil.

3. Dakota has consumed an entire bag of Cheetos but is also trying to eat the ChipKlip that was holding the bag closed. A common rookie mistake!

4: Dakota has thoughtlessly left his RealDoll™, "Sindee," in the armchair while having visitors over. What an embarrassing faux pas!

5. The clock radio is tuned to a "Christian Rock" station. Don't be fooled -- "Christian Rock" is a tool of the Devil!

6. The loaded semiautomatic handgun on the nightstand is not close enough for easy access in case of a sudden home invasion by unruly ruffians or jackbooted government thugs bent on imposing tyranny. ALWAYS CARRY, EVEN AT HOME. The babies will thank you, probably.

Incidentally, when someone on Instagram pointed out the weapon on the nightstand, Dakota shared a good laugh over having a handgun within easy reach while holding a baby:

What could be more fun than a baby and a gun? Easy! A baby, a gun, and a puzzle!

Extra credit: The fruit bat is under the bed.

[Instagram via alert tipster "Kay"]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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