Wonkette Now More Securerer Than Trump Hotels!
GOOD MORNING! Remember how we are always asking you for money, and then you try to give us money and our money thing is all jacked up, and you keep trying and trying and then you even email me and are like "why can I not give you money?" and I am like SUCKS TO BE YOU, LOSER, KEEP TRYING!? That definitely sounds like a thing that I say!
Well, husband/web developer/MINE NOT YOURS MINE Shypixel spent A MONTH putting together a "secure" page for you to donate all your lovely ducats to us! (No, there was no problem before, nobody's been hacking your shit like we are Trump Tower, he is just PROACTIVE like that! Plus a plugin update broke the Amazon "recurring donations," and you do NOT want to hear the details of what it took to fix it, because neither Amazon nor "Woocommerce" want to know the details, or help anyone else figure out the details, so WHY SHOULD YOU???) Anyway, what I am saying is you can give us recurring money donations through Amazon, SHY FIXED IT and will get "a pot roast" as a reward, and yes, that is what the kids are calling it these days, give us money.
Wonkette is woman-owned (by me!) and truly independent. We accept no ads (though we reserve the right to run them for either Kirsten Gillibrand or Kamala Harris -- OR BOTH! -- in 2020!), and unlike the Breitbarters and Daily Callerers and every other rightwing jackoff website (and some lefty ones!), we don't even have any Republican ratfucker funding! Literally one hundred percent of our modest but livable salaries (and we wouldn't mind some raises!), and the hosting, and the electric bill, and Christmas bonuses for Dok, Dom, Evan and Robyn, and gas to come see you and throw you parties, and some reasonably decent freelance rates, and the comment section which we actually PAY Disqus to use ad-free because we love you, comes from Readers Like You. Generous, gorgeous, smart, funny, DECENT HUMAN BEING, Readers Like You.
You can help today and every day (please don't send us money every day, we are not Jay Sekulow) by clicking that little box below to send us a quick $10 or $25, but it would be even greater if you clicked here and set up a monthly recurring donation. Otherwise, Donald Trump might forget to terrify you one month, and then you might forget to send us money! Wouldn't that be like the loveliest dream, except for the part where you don't send us money?
WONKETTE: HERE FOR YOU in these holy jesus fuckballs EVERY DAY times. (Give us money.)
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.