Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are The Real George Santos

Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are The Real George Santos

A very comfy mystery pup from our friend Christopher!

Good morning!

Your present this week is that you get to join the Church of Scientology! Or ... not. Either way, here is a Scientology orientation video for you and your body thetans.

Scientology Cult Orientationwww.youtube.com

This is all new to me as I did not get this far the time my mom gave me $50 to go take a Scientology personality test, largely because I could not stop giggling while hooked up to their special machine.

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. North Dakota Republican Declares LITTERBOX EMERGENCY. Don't Laugh At Her, She Is A Child Of God!

9. Hakeem Jeffries To Kevin McCarthy: Wanna Fight About Adam Schiff And Eric Swalwell? Let's Go.

8. Wonkette Movie Night: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

7. Wonkette Weekend Chat: The Adventure of the Supreme Court Leaker!

6. Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Lemmy!

5. In Which The Dilbert Guy Gets Some Advice About Cars And Ladies

4. George Santos Was Drag Queen One Time Or For Three Years, Whatever

3. Trump Won An Entire Golf Tournament While He Was At Diamond's Funeral Whining. How? STAMINA!

2. Adam Schiff Reminds That Twit Kevin McCarthy That He Got FBI's Eric Swalwell Briefing Too

1. BREAKING: The Absolutely FILTHY Investigation Into The Trump Russia Investigation Filthier Than We Ever Knew!

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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