Yestertoday, as I was compiling this morning's tabs, I ran across Defector's new WELCOME HOME to themselves. Then I spent about two hours reading their riveting old Deadspin reporting on The Maven absolutely boning Sports Illustrated, and not at all in that way we like. I have an unvested interest in all writing about The Maven: I almost once, like a very stupid idiot, let them take over Wonkette.

It turns out, even though they offered to fly us to Whistler and party us like suckers rock stars at the one CEO dude's manse, and we would keep our intellectual property and they'd sell the ads, I probably would have been unhappy with the result!

The Maven, like every Bad Journalism Thing Happening Now, is not far different from the vulture capitalists of Mitt Romney's Bain or the asshole who murdered Sears. Or, when it comes down to it, the vulture capitalists who denuded Deadspin itself. It uses Other People's Money to hoover up properties and pay itself horrific fees to party on yachts. It just, to add the funky fresh princeness you might remember from 1995, includes a literal Pyramid Scheme in the mix.

But when you're digging up payroll from scratch every month, and a guy who ran the LA Times and Yahoo (like any number of Trump officials, turns out, he was "acting") is on the board of a startup that wants you to be its flagship political site, you might get some money signs for pupils, having greedy dreams of "staff raises" and "six months' expenses in the bank."

You know who ended up not doing that? Oh, thank God, it was me! You know who is their flagship political site? It is Erick Erickson, LOL! As the Defector folks say, there is still, after all the journalism has been raped and destroyed, shit to read on the Internet, but most of it is JESUS BAD.

(As of a week or so ago, I learn at this moment, the Sports Illustrated guy, Ross Levinsohn, has bumped out as Maven CEO his best friend James Heckman, who will in their usual manner get untold riches to "consult." It's a Ross Eat Jimmy Eat World.)

Defector — the former Deadspin staff — wrote this this week, and I can't think of a better way of saying it, or a better thing to do than rip it off:

We aren't here to gratify ourselves or churn out "content," a word wholly devoid of ideas and values, but to create good work that will earn your loyal readership. To that end, this site is built to run primarily on revenue from reader subscriptions, and though we don't ask for your money lightly, we do require it.

Since I bought Wonkette eight years ago, we have grown from "me" to five full-time people and five part-time people. We are watching this addled psychopathic sumbitch 1000 hours a day, and it is exhausting, and we are proud of the good fucking job we do, and I REQUIRE YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. But only, as you know, if you are able.

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Who loves ya baby? Joe Biden. And also Wonkette.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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