Wonkette Thankful For Creationist Bible Scientists Answering Difficult Questions Like 'Why Is Nose?'


Those silly Creation Science people are still around. It's been so easy to forget these last four years as we've been dealing with the presidency of the world's stupidest fascist, Donald Trump, but maybe under President Joe Biden, we will have more time to reflect again on some of the everyday crazies we have been dealing with the whole time.

In that spirit, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, Wonkette is thankful for this creation science online TV show from Answers in Genesis, called "Answers News," wherein the science expert Dr. Jennifer Rivera gives a science explanation for "Why Is Nose?"

RIVERA: We also can look at the nasal bone right here. God designed humans very specifically, with this nasal bone, because He knew, because of sin, we'd be wearing glasses and contacts, right? So this helps hold our glasses. Primates have no need to wear glasses, so they were not created with that bone there.

That is just true, and also science, and we are thankful for it.

God was well aware that a literally real couple named Adam and Eve would commit the very first sin, which would cause much calamity for all of humankind, not least of which was that our eyes would no longer be perfect, and some people would need glasses, which humans would invent at some point thereafter. So He in all His Godness made a nasal bone, so the glasses that would come about because of sinning would have someplace to rest. This also applies to contact lenses, somehow.

All of this is not only science, but it is in the book of Genesis. (It's funny because nope, and also nope.)

Dr. Rivera may not be aware of this, but it is also just scientifically true that God gave humans that shape of nose so that we could play "Got Your Nose," which wouldn't be a fun game at all if there wasn't any nose for us to get.

Thus concludes your Wonkette science Bible lesson for Thanksgiving week.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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