It's a good morning at Wonkette Manor, with the fine people of Kansas (no, we don't live there) making us feel Extra Way Better About The State Of The World. And because we feel Extra Way Better About The State Of The World, we're not embarrassed to shriek OH NO MONSTERS, or rather, OH NO WE HAVEN'T PAID US IN THREE MONTHS AND ALSO WE'VE BEEN PAYING THE SITE EXPENSES OUT OF POCKET AND OH NO THE HOUSE MONEY IS GONE AND THE CAR MONEY FROM INSURANCE TOTALING OUT OUR PRIUS IS GONE (poor deer) and of course by "us" I mean Shy and me, we would never not pay our staff or freelancers or bills, what are we, THAT LAST SHITHEAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE? We are not.

So here's the deal. We are not laying anyone off, ever, and we are not reducing our delightful freelancers, ever, so I don't have an OR ELSE to lay on you except "I am going to have to put everything on credit cards again, some more, it's a good thing that last shithead from the White House made me rethink my relationship to debt, i.e., I should have more of it!"

If you are in a financial squeeze with the inflations or the poor, please do not send Wonkette money. If you are already sending Wonkette money, please do not send Wonkette more money (unless you really seriously want to, you are already the attractive ... midshipmen?? in Starship Troopers, DOING YOUR PART). But if you are not in one of the preceding two categories, and you appreciate having Wonkette around and me not dying of MONSTERS, please (PLEASE!) consider starting a recurring donation with the widget below. Click an amount, click "monthly" if you can, and then click "paypal" (paypal) or "stripe" (all credit cards).

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Last month, Wonkette had 828,123 visitors, and 4500 of you put $ in the kitty to support your favorite woman-owned, small-business, ad-free and investor-free leftwing news and dick joke emporium and cocktail hub. That is ... a number! (It's "less than 4500" actually because many of you give more than once, what are you, crazy people?!) What if an extra thousand of you joined up today? My, what a good day at Wonkette's Detroit headquarters (PO Box 38273, Detroit MI 48238, if you love sending paper checks that my mom has finally begun to send thank you postcards for!) it would be!

I would probably buy cupcakes. Or cat food. I'm just kidding, I would buy both!

Fight the monsters.

Lu, Donna, Brielle ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Okay, we love you, this post is staying up FOREVER, scroll down to see if there are new stories and click on this headline above if you want to comment here, GOODBYE.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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