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Here at Wonkette, we love the weekend -- it's a chance to stop slaving in the Content Mines, sit back and look at what we've done, and with any luck hide the evidence before the authorities arrive. And so we're proud to bring you the ten best stories of the past week, which is to say the ten most-shared on the Facebook, for social media buzz is what gladdens our mercenary little hearts. Don't see one of your favorites here? Make sure you hit that "share" button, so the world knows that you are With It and also a hep cat. You are a hep cat, aren't you?


So without delay, our Top Ten:

10: Mitch McConnell and John Boehner will be happy to tell you all about the Republicans' replacement for Obamacare, just the minute they can remember where they left it. It was right here just a minute ago.

9: President Obama announced his plan to save the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge from oil exploration forever, and Republicans announced that they're looking into fracking polar bears.

8: The same people who ran "Freedom Industries," the company that poisoned West Virginia's drinking water, are back under a new name, but with the same high-quality chemical spills they're famous for.

7: New Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner is so fiscally responsible that he's going to cut all sorts of state budgets, just as soon as his wife finishes renovating the exectutive mansion.

6: Bill O'Reilly and Sarah Palin got into a War of Words, and the English language was the clear loser.

5: Barack Obama insulted the Dignity of his Office by consenting to be interviewed by YouTube persons instead of letting Bill O'Reilly interrupt him like he's supposed to.

4: Lindsey Graham told the "March For Life" that the GOP is still having difficulty figuring out what rape really is. Wouldn't want any sluts to get away with getting an abortion, after all.

3: Open Carry advocates in Texas helped emphasize their point that an armed society is a polite society by politely threatening the leader of a gun safety group and opponents of a proposed open-carry law in Texas.

2: Louie Gohmert had some problems with "our Republican females" and their refusal to just hush up and vote the way the menfolk say, like Jesus said to in the Constitution.

1: Texans wanting Muslims to prove their loyalty to the Unites States Of America shouted down a group of Muslims who were singing "The Star-Spangled Banner." That'll learn 'em.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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